One Last Hurrah

I’m pretty sure I’m retiring after Sunday. Nike is Sunday. I have known about it since March, when I was just trying to get through training to finish Boston and thought I’d retire there…but no, I got in and I wanted to visit my friend, and well, instead of going for my birthday and Bay to Breakers guess it was going to be Nike. Things happen and I wish I had been out of town on my birthday, and then my friend got laid off so she isn’t going to be in San Fran anyway…then other stuff happened…and then grandma died and I really lost my motivation, except to decide to dedicate it to her. Considering grandma always got a nice fireman beef cake calendar for Christmas from one of my aunt’s friends, it’s fitting that her marathon is the one where you get firemen in tuxedos handing out your Tiffany’s pendant. This one is going to be bittersweet because of that. And training again was tough. I didn’t want to, but I survived it, kind of, and I’m looking forward to just being done with it and get to a normal training routine and work on getting myself into the shape I wanted to be in by now, but the summer just found me letting myself get away from what I should be doing, and doing things I should not be doing. Ah well, such is life and I have all the time in the world for things now. No other focus but the gym, work and school. Maybe if I spend more time on all those other things, the things I DON’T want to be thinking about will just go quietly away. One can always hope.

So Thursday I fly…and I’m not even excited even though I’m going to a city I’ve always wanted to go to. I don’t even have plans made for what I might want to see or do. Maybe I’ll just hole up in the hotel till race day and study for my midterm and get reading caught up for my other class…who knows…