Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Yes, I'm Slacking

But thought before I turn in (I had a personal training session after work and man my PT is mean...OK, he's not mean, he's shoulders are going to be aching tomorrow, along with my abs...we did what hurt me most last time, kind of on my request and he had me do 5 extra on the last set, and 45 second plank, on a scooter, and I actually said 5 more seconds, he said just 10 more so last one was a to get rid of the snacking so the fat goes away) thought I'd post real quick.

Last weekend was interesting. I was out for HH on Friday that went long and had a large amoung of beer, but was very fun and I might have to do one of those again soon...recovered on Saturday, crappy run on Sunday (18 miles that took almost as long as 20 should've). This weekend a friend is going to be here (tomorrow is my Friday she gets in tomorrow night in our upcoming blizzard) and we are hitting the Food and Wine Experience. I can't wait. Good wine. Good friend. I'll post more on that later.

Running...on advice from one friend, and my PT and myself...I'm taking this week mostly off, from running for sure and probably not much cross training since I decided I'm tired and don't want to get up tomorrow (we'll see, it MIGHT happen) for the gym. My running has just been terrible lately and I think maybe I need to reboot...maybe if I unplug myself from it, allow myself to unplug from it (except the run I promised my friend while she's here but it will be 3 miles at a slower pace) and then see what happens. I'm 8 weeks from Boston, but training is not going well and it's a combo of a lot of things I think. I'll be able to finish the race, just not as well as I would've hoped I could...we'll see what happens.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Cold has returned…

And I don’t like it…not one bit. After some warmup, which we deserved (I’m past the whole it’s winter in MN and I should expect the crap, we had a much colder than normal December and January was worse than January has been in a few years. Plus last year spring came really, really late, and fall came on time, if not just a tiny bit early…so sorry, we deserve an early spring and I want it now!! It was back below 0 again here…but thankfully we did have warm last week and the week before that melted a ton of snow. If only this wasn’t MN and we know that it will eventually come back (in March even, we are notorious for getting a big storm in March, or two or three!).

Running…well, should I go down that one? That Mojo, that is hiding somewhere, disappeared again. I had that great run last week and now it’s back to being painful and sucking…well, not painful except painful to get through, but you get the drift. I’m just not sure what more to do and I’m extremely frustrated by it feeling so difficult. I recall times when the good running days far outnumbered the bad, but right now the bad far outnumber the good and I need something to help that. I’m 8 ½ weeks from Boston and I have no clue that to expect since the training just hasn’t’ been there like it needs to be for a good run. I know Boston had been meant to be “just for fun” but a part of me wanted to maybe shoot for a good time, even a PR maybe, but this time of year for training, combined with the same problem I was having in 2007 only on the other side and it not seeming to want to fix itself, I just can’t seem to get there. Can I run and finish Boston? Yes…is it going to be nice…not so sure…I have a little time yet to get a few good runs in, but nowhere near the time to get the good quality training in, and you know what…I can’t seem to get the motivation into my body for it. I read things to motivate myself. Just re-read my race report for Twin Cities and I remembered the emotions. I re-read comments I had made about the pride of my dad. I have been reading tips on doing Boston. And all of this gets to me. I feel teary eyed. I feel excited. I remember what this all means…and then I go to run and my body betrays me. The mind is in it. The body just decided to abandon me and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I know many of you are battling injuries and have some things going on that are preventing the joy and such of running and you can’t wait to get back, if you even will be able to. And I feel bad, typing this, when I know that many of you are wishing to be in my position. Yes, I qualified for Boston. Yes, I know it’s not an easy feat. Yes, I know that many will never be able to make that qualifier…but it doesn’t make it any less an issue for myself right now, in my selfish instance in time right at this moment, where I’m feeling pity for myself and wishing I could get it all figured out.

This weekend I’m trying to motivate for what is scheduled as a 20 miler. If I don’t make 20, I’m not going to beat myself up, but I’m hopeful. I have no other plans this weekend, so can do it whichever day feels better for it. Probably Sunday but we’ll see. I also have things to look forward to. Next weekend, Food and Wine Experience…yes, so much wine, so little time…and one of my best friends in the world is going to be in town. I haven’t seen her in a year and I’m so excited. It’s been a really long time since she’s been here too, and we have plenty of good things to see and do and things I’m going to show her that she hasn’t been around for. Then next month MNFirefly, and her new fiancée, as her and Josh just got engaged, will be here, and we’ll get to go out and celebrate, although Josh has threatened to punch me, so not sure I’ll get close enough to him to extend congrats…they will be having a long engagement, but looking forward to the celebration when it happens. Then a week after they are here I’m heading out to Buffalo/Niagara for that little concert…and then 3 weeks to the day of when I get back from that trip I’ll be running from Hopkinton to Boston. Then a month after that I’m planning to be in San Francisco to finally see a city I’ve wanted to go to forever and visit a good friend of mine that moved there a year ago. Might even run a fun little race I’ve been dying to do out there…sometime in June or July I owe a trip to Chicago…then August there is the Ragnar relay…possibly a fall marathon (I’m still contemplating Nike Women’s if I can get into it, having that friend to visit and all)…so yes, lots coming up…not to mention school and work to keep me busy…and I have lots to be thankful for, but it still doesn’t keep me from feeling that let down about my running right now. We do have to live in the now as well as the future…

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Funny Thing

So I'm sitting, watching the movie Definitely, Maybe that I recorded earlier this week. I have seen it before, but not since it came out a year ago...there is a scene where Isla Fisher's character comes into Ryan Reynolds characters apartment, he's a mess and has been in a down spiral for a while, and it's a mess...she looks around, sees the mess and they show the TV, which has Chinese noodles that have been thrown at it and are dripping down it...her comment "I see you've been eating noodles"...and I laughed, loud and long at it. It's weird how things can strike you so strangely at such a weird time.

All this while I was considering today and thinking on life...Valentine's day is one of those days I haven't ever been a big fan of. Surprise, surprise. Let's see, I've had a boyfriend for exactly 4 V-days I think. But even without that, the day in and of itself is just a way out for those that don't express themselves throughout the year. Do a dozen overpriced flowers and a hard to get dinner reservation really make up for a year of not being told things that you should hear everyday? Now I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone, in fact most people I know I don't think actually have that, but it is how a lot of people deal with today. Shouldn't you tell someone you love them everyday? Shouldn't you do little things to show them you love them everyday? Instead of overpriced flowers one day a year, if you know she likes flowers, wouldn't it be a nice thing to buy her even just a nice bouquet from the farmer's market once in a while? How many people really do that?

Anyway, I was thinking earlier too, about soulmates...and how, at least in my mind, soulmates don't have to be a romantic interest. I believe you can have soulmates even of the same sex, if you are not gay. It's just that person you really connect with on a level so beyond anything else. I've had a few friendships like that in my life and it really bums me out that one of them, probably one of the closest I ever had, is one I lost because of someone else's insecurities. How do people let things like that happen? This was a male soulmate and unfortunately his now wife (while they were still dating) didn't like me, not having ever met me, but she felt threatened an he let it end our friendship. What sucks most about it? He was the one that said to me that we should never let a relationship get in the way of our frienship...that anyone we dated would need to be OK with our friendship...ironic that he's the one that let it end huh? Anyway, I hope he's happy. On occasion we chat via places like Facebook, but most often not. Maybe someday I'll write out the story...but I think now I need to crawl into bed. Was up too late last night.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Running Mojo

I never got my post done about how much I hate running...that was Sunday...19 sucked...we'll leave it at that. I had another frustrating one on Tuesday but somehow it all came together yesterday and I managed 8 at an 8:20 pace. For once nothing felt heavy...this wasn't even a tempo run. Today is supposed to be a tempo. We'll see if I can pull something together for that. Otherwise I'll have to be satisfied with the idea that the running mojo is still there, it's just buried more often than it's out for me to feel.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

The Wedding of a Best Friend

My best friend got married last weekend. She had been dating the guy for 4 years, just under 4 years from their first date, in fact, to the time when he finally proposed. And we had known him for probably two years before that. It was an interesting way that they got together and I won’t go into that, but I’ll tell you that even up to and within the last year, when she was talking about when he was going to propose, I was not sure about him…I had my reasons, and no, they weren’t that he was taking my best friend away. I want her to be happy, and happy for her is having a baby, she would be incredibly unhappy if that wasn’t an option for her (not that she couldn’t have one without being married) and I definitely don’t want her to be unhappy. But there were things about him that reminded me somewhat of her ex, at least on one occasion, and another time with things she was saying about him…so I was leery…but I made a point to get to know him better in the past year and, actually think he made a better effort toward getting to know me as well, and we’ve come to an understanding and as long as he makes her happy, that’s all that matters to me now.

Their engagement was in June, and as I said, she wants a baby, they might be trying even as I type this (although she’s supposed to wait till end of the month because we are going to a wine tasting), so they didn’t want a long engagement. As they started looking, it’s also a little cheaper, at least in MN, to get married in the winter as well. So they picked a ceremony spot (put link) and a reception spot (put link) and the date was set for January 31st because the ceremony spot was changing over from poinsettias to orchids and the orchid show was the weekend they originally wanted. That weekend was also one of the coldest of the year and the weekend they had hit almost 40….but I digress. I was at their engagement party. I went in July to help find wedding dresses, and was asked to be a maid of honor that day…in August we looked at bridesmaid dresses…and found dresses that we loved (there were three of us, myself, her sister and sister-in-law) and even got our shoes that night…and went to dinner at the place that they got engaged. Her fiancée even came and met up with us for a drink. In December we planned out and had her bachelorette party, which was the perfect thing…8 of us in total that were out, ended with 3 of us at the hotel, hit some nicer bars, dressed up, did dinner, karaoke and had pizza before passing out…what more did we need? Early January was a bridal shower…and then the wedding week. I had offered any help she needed, so the night before the grooms dinner we were supposed to work on programs, but unfortunately something wasn’t printing right, but we had time on Friday night to do them. Friday I left work a little early to meet at the ceremony place to look around and figure out with them how they were going to stand and what was going to happen…she kept saying 10 minutes start to finish (I didn’t time it but I bet she was close). We left and went to the hotel where they were staying (I was staying with her that evening), the groom’s dinner was there and was quite nice, had some beer then went back to her room and her fiancée joined us along with her sister-in-law and we put the programs together. A little talking and we went to sleep…I woke early the next day but was careful (practicing my speech, trying to be able to get through it without crying) not to wake the bride…she woke up around 9, I got her coffee made, took a quick shower and the girl came to do our hair. The bride was paying for it and a friend of her and the groom’s did the hair (she was also at the wedding and reception). Mine was done and I helped out doing a few things, moved things to my own room (just down the hall from her and the room they were going to share that night) and then the photographer was there and we started getting her dressed.

Limo was supposed to be there at 2:30, it didn’t get there till 3, so we were late getting to the ceremony site for pictures, but it worked out fine due to some policies at the place they were getting married at…anyway, when the limo got there we took her down and got her into the limo, the Vulcans were out (a winter carnival thing) and saw her and suggested they should steal her! Then when we got to the ceremony site, it was so nice and still warm enough that we had some pictures outside, then when it opened up for them to go inside we had pictures done inside…finally 5:30 arrived and it was time for them to get married…short ceremony, they were husband and wife and we all got back into the limo (hummer stretch I might add) and started pouring the champagne I had brought…we did some toasts and wished them well while we headed to the reception site. Pictures, attempt at bustling her dress and so much confusion and couldn’t find some button hooks and we finally gave up so they could do the toasts (I gave a speech, managed to NOT cry and had a lot of complements on it after, including the groom thanking me very much for it, and I told him I meant every word of it, I had been worried, trying to write it, since, as I said, I had been skeptical, but he’s grown on me, he really has, and now I have another brother in my mind), had a nice dinner, talked to people, had drinks, I talked to my parents and sister, introduced them to another friend (yes, my parents know my friend enough to be invited) and then they took off, got caught up with another person I hadn’t seen in a long time…managed to avoid the dancing…had cake…embarrassed myself getting on the shuttle back to the hotel by asking about my brown bag and where it might be when it was hanging on my arm (let’s just say I had had a little champagne that night!). We got back to the hotel and moved stuff into people’s rooms to store…somehow all the booze left over from the wedding (they could bring in their own) ended up in my room…we only had one more after leaving the bar along with the top of the cake, yes, that would’ve been a good snack if I was a bad maid of honor!! Anyway, after stuff was dropped we went back to the bar and had some drinks, chatted more and saw a local TV news personality that we talked to and had our picture taken with. Then it was time to call it a night. Two other friends crashed in my room with me…we ordered pizza but it was taking so long to come that I finally dropped off to sleep and when it did show up, I just ignored it and kept on sleeping…it had been a long day and I hadn’t eaten enough.

Next morning I wasn’t feeling too bad…we had a knock on the door from the bride and groom at 9…he had woken her up at 6 and she had gotten up (she normally sleeps in and he’s up early!) and they were out saying hi to people. I had a little snack from things I had brought to have while we were getting ready, then got stuff together and left with the bride…since I had the cake topper yet. I was going to swing it by their house but she had to drop a tux so met her there and we got a smoothie at Caribou, said our good byes, I had things she had asked me to return for her in my car since they left on the honeymoon the next day and wouldn’t have time to do it before they left…I gladly did it, after all, I had to help out however I could…she thanked me again for all I had done to help out and I drove home for a much needed nap before watching the Superbowl and she went home to be with her new hubby…and now they are in Hawaii…and it’s below 0 again here…I kind of hate them now!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Boston Training Struggles

I am still around and keep thinking I need to do an update. For one tickets for Niagara have been bought, we have confirmation on our tickets for the show and a room is booked…so it’s all a go.

I’ve been have a very low level of motivation to get out and workout, which sucks because now I have classes starting this week which takes away time I otherwise had TO workout. It’s really hard this time of year. It’s dark and cold so I don’t want to get up. I am tired of running at the gym. My hip is out of wack still and I need to see my chiropractor but haven’t had time and won’t get there this week. Next Monday I’m shooting for though!! But with the weather as it is, it’s just hard to keep the motivation. And Boston is only 11 weeks away and I feel so less than prepared right now. I know I was feeling that with Twin Cities too, but I think I had more going on runningwise by then than I do now. In fact, I’ve had the last 5 days off…and not liking that. I need to run tomorrow morning but it’s going to be tough. I ran last Thursday morning, Thursday night I just didn’t have the motivation to get out due to a chill in the air and needing to get things ready for a wedding I was in last weekend. I was also up later helping the bride with someone so no ability to get up early the next day. Friday groom’s dinner kept me from running after work…Saturday, OK, I could’ve gone to the treadmill, but I was in the bride’s room with her and wanted to be there if she woke up and needed anything and wasn’t sure when she might wake up (not to mention not wanting to wake her going out of the room). Sunday…well, I was in a wedding on Saturday, what do you think (by the way, there will be stuff about the wedding, just needs its own post)? By the time I was functioning it was time to meet a friend to watch the Superbowl. Monday I just wanted to get some stuff done at home and knew if I stopped at the gym I wouldn’t get around to anything at home…and this morning…I was up, I was heading to the gym…car went “click” and didn’t start. So by the time the tow guy came to jump it, no time to get to the gym and tonight after work I have class. It’s in a location I haven’t been to before and not knowing how long it might take to get there, I can’t chance it…if I could run outside (it’s too freaking cold) I’d have the time/ability for it, but unless there is a dramatic increase in temps, it just isn’t going to happen. Boston…my dream…is getting so close…and yet I can’t seem to get the motivation. Why is this??