Random Friday Thoughts

It’s Friday…so happy about that. This week has just been dragging. I finally slept a little last night, but it was partly beer induced, but oh well. Sometimes you do what you have to. I tried a nap after work yesterday, before hectic times set in, but that just wasn’t happening. What did end up happening was my roommate and I went to meet up with one friend that was going to a happy hour and invited me. Unfortunately he wasn’t there and we were in a rush needing to get to the next meeting so never got to see him, but did get into and check out a new bar that has an interesting mix of people for people watching. It’s in an upscale bar in an upscale building and had kind of the people you are entertained to watch. Power men in suits and/or dressy work clothes and the women all dressed to try to pick themselves up a rich husband (or at least sugar daddy)…quite entertaining really. After this we went to another bar to meet up with a guy that I’ve been supposed to meet for some time now. He is someone I met in one of my brief times online, when I thought I wanted to date. Met him just before I turned off my profile and decided I was happy with life as it was and I’d date again when and if a great guy came along on a fluke…well, we’ve been talking off and on for the last year and finally he was really pushing for a meeting, which I backed out of once and then felt bad because he was then calling even more and trying to get together…so I finally agreed this week, but brought my roommate along as a kind of buffer…see, while he has seemed nice, there just is something lacking, roommate thinks its self-confidence on his part, which could be the case, it’s either that are just one of those, no connection things. Part of my wanting someone with is because while on the phone with him (we’ve been talking for over a year) I’ve either had to really carry the conversation or there is a lot of silence…so with her along, it wasn’t bad…but just wasn’t there. As I knew it probably wouldn’t be. I wish him well, but don’t plan to see him again. Thought maybe roommate would like him but she won’t date a guy younger than her and she’s 32 and he’s only 30…hopefully he finds someone good.

Tonight I’m supposed to hopefully be seeing a friend that I haven’t seen in quite some time. It all depends on what kind of mood she is in though. We made plans last week, I tried to confirm on Wednesday and she said she’d nap and see. If she’s not in a good mood, no point in going out as it’s just not fun, but I’m hoping she will come. We are just going to my local place of course, but so far roomie and I are going, we’ll see others there (the big test for me will be if C is there and see how I react, I’m hoping no reaction as that will be the best for me, show me it’s over and done, part of me hopes he doesn’t show up there though as then next week I won’t be out and by the next time I could see him, I should be all done with him!), some friends are meeting us when they get done with work and I want to have fun. My roomie is going through some rough times and I want to get her out and have her have some fun. Tonight we are starting lessons in flirting…she knows how, but is rusty after long relationships, not of the good variety, so we’ll see what happens.

I also had the good, uplifting thing of having an e-mail conversation actually go well!! Yes, I’ve had past discussions with friends that escalated into a fight that lost friendships. There was something going on with one of my friends that hurt, but also made me take some looks and try to find reason, at the same time I was trying to show her these are things of the past and obviously not tried and true set in stone things, no matter how hard I try and the armor I put up anyway. She’s had some bad times and both her and I are trying to make changes for the better and instead of losing a friendship, we might have made it stronger as both of us are working on things to make ourselves better. We are making plans for a fun summer and hopefully in those times, we end up finding her someone great as she really does deserve some good date karma after he last situation with the loser boy sperm donor that was her husband. He gave her a son she loves, but unfortunately scars too that are trying to heal and I wish for her great things because she does deserve a good turn. Single parenthood isn’t easy and she does really want more children and hopefully she can find someone great to help her with that!!

Finally, isn’t it interesting how differently people can perceive a situation? I have been on a quest to improve myself, as I stated above. Trying to change my karma and make more positive impacts and feelings on my life, looking at the good in myself and others around me and working to keep good and positive and lose the negative. Well, I sent out a few apology e-mails to some I feel I have wronged, even if unintentionally, and one I thought was a good thing until he came back at me talking about how I treated him so poorly and he hadn’t deserved it, this was after he accepted my apology…now isn’t part of accepting an apology then to let it go? So that one didn’t come out so well, as I heard all kinds of accusations then about the person he perceives me to be (he knew me a total of about 3 months and talked to/saw me a handful of times in that time and most times he was totally wasted, great time to make some real assessments about someone right?) and how I should better myself and not sink to all this crap, well, he’s the one that was putting it on me…I guess sometimes your best intentions aren’t always the best. In the meantime I’m still on my quest. I really want to start random acts of kindness…I need to find things to do though. Earlier this week I sent a virtual bouquet of yellow daisies and said simply “I love you” to my mom. Dad isn’t on email so I can’t send something like that to him…but I suppose I could send him a random card…or just call him…anyway, I’ll find some things to do.

Note to Spring, it is April, yes, this is MN, but enough of this 30s and lower weather and snow, you need to warm up and let us have our nice weather, winter will be back soon enough, Fight!!! I've included my spring "feeling" pics just to warm things up. A couple are from Boston two years ago when I was out for the marathon.