Three Things

First running…I got up, got a decent run, if not a great one, this morning. I didn’t know how far I’d go, but ended up doing 9 miles. Again, not a great run, but an OK one. It started decent enough. Oh, and had I eaten more for breakfast, maybe I would’ve run more…Anyway, 5 miles into the run I am about 3 miles from my house, in an area that I know, or thought I knew, fairly well. There is Davanni’s Pizza. There is Blockbuster. Eden Avenue Grill is around the corner. The funeral home where both my aunt and uncle were laid out unfortunately is right there. Starbucks is there as well, but NONE of these places accounted for the delicious scents in the air. I noticed a sign up, that maybe I had just never noticed before, not sure, but it said Patissere Margo…what?? How could I not know of this place? I got home and instantly looked up the place online and the delights I found listed…oh my. I decided I must try it. Thought I’d go for breakfast tomorrow, however they aren’t open tomorrow, so I stopped there on my way to the gym. For today I only bought two regular croissants…I’d have just got one, but felt weird just buying one. So one was with dinner tonight and one is breakfast tomorrow if I get a longer run in. I should’ve gotten the cinnamon one too, but oh well…next time. At the gym I did strength train for 40 minutes, and biked for 30.

Two…rude people…I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to grab a couple of quick things, partly for dinner, some other necessary items. They were doing samples today and one was frozen pizza…sounded yummy. So I went to get a sample, and an employee had stepped up in front of me and was taking up the whole space…the guy doing the samples handed one over to me but I found it very odd. It’s not like this is a crappy grocery store either. It’s one of the upscale ones, in a nice area…ah well. Then I was checking out, self-check out (cause I kind of prefer it) and a woman comes up behind me, setting her stuff down on the very little space next to the self check, invading my space (granted I was done, but my receipt hadn’t printed yet and I was still gathering up my stuff) and thing is, it wasn’t like that was the only one available…there was another one, just a few steps further, on her way out…sigh.

Three…I know everyone means well…but unfortunately the sadness lingers. And you can only lean on friends for so long. Which is why the need to withdraw. If I don’t, they won’t be there later. You can drive people away wallowing and being sad for too long…unfortunately I’ve had to learn about the tolerance level people have too many times in the past and I’ve used up the sympathy on other things. And withdrawing is just the only way I know to deal. It’s starting…tonight in fact, I had the option of a BBQ, normally would’ve been a fun activity, only 2 people I knew would be there, the ones hosting, and it just didn’t seem like something I could handle today. That’s just how it is sometimes. Last night I was at a hockey game…that was enough for the weekend. Next weekend I have to deal with two days of things. And the weekend after three days…ughh…I just want to hole up at home. Is there anything wrong with that?

Running, Trips and Weekend

Alright, I’m at work, and it’s going to be a busy, busy week…and I’m angry at myself for NOT booking my ticket to NY last week as the deal I had found, really good price, is now $20 higher (OK, not THAT big of a deal) but it was also better flight times and into and out of La Guardia vs. JFK…but what do you do? I guess I should book the other one I’ve found and suck it up, live and learn…prices are just going to go up right?

Running…last week I managed 40 miles. First 40 mile week in I don’t know how long. I was pretty happy with it. My plan included 10-12 for yesterday. I wasn’t sure which I would do, but while it was cold, I had the run going well enough that I stuck with it. I ended up doing 12 over the hills of my neighborhood at a 9:05 pace. This was 3 seconds per mile slower than last week, BUT, I did walk a portion of mile 10 (it ended up being 9:36) while messing with my MP3 to get to the right place in the book I was listening to. Had I not done that it would’ve been faster and that’s all I’m looking for…improvement each week. One of these weeks I need to expand the distance…I’d like to be regularly doing 10-15 miles until I start marathon training again. We’ll see. This week might be a good one for a cutback though, since daylight savings change will probably get to me by tomorrow or Wednesday and due to a special thing going on at work this week, I might be working some longer hours and not have the time to get out and run the way I’d like to anyway.

This morning I did get my workout in. 30 minute bike ride, 40 minutes of strength training…and no hottie to even motivate me!!

Weekend was pretty fun. Had a girls night out with friends on Friday, got a little rowdy but not too bad. Felt a little ill on Saturday morning, but was up, doing some cleaning and converting some CDs to my laptop…went to the gym for strength and a run but didn’t feel the strength so just ran and then went home to meet up with my roommate to hit a movie. We saw Definitely, Maybe which both of us enjoyed. Not quite as good as Love Actually (same people made both movies) but very cute…I got a little teary eyed at it…I had a bit of a panic attack on Saturday night…this I tend to come to expect during this time of year though. I guess panic attack is the wrong work, but a tinge of loneliness I guess was more like it, and the sadness I sometimes feel after drinking…I just cleaned and converted more CDs and it finally passed. Yesterday I didn’t feel I accomplished nearly as much as I would’ve liked, but oh well…this week and into the weekend hopefully I can get some big time cleaning done, as well as finishing the grad school essays I’ve been working on for the last month. Maybe I’ll leave the house and see if that motivates me to do something more!

V-day

That stupid holiday that is pretty much to make singles feel bad I think...honestly. All the couply crap and what day is there out there that is just for singles?? I mean I've been feeling pretty good about my situation and where I am in life but partly cause of a stupid boy and partly due to those things around that day, I actually was feeling bad about myself last night and I hate that a stupid nothing commerical holiday has that power. It's been too long (11 years I think) since I had a boyfriend around V-day so I don't know that I'd feel different if I had someone...but I honestly believe in little gifts and acts of appreciation more than one day a year...But I digress...one thing that kind of bothers me too, is when people wish you Happy Valentine's day...umm....exactly what is happy about it? My mom sent me and my siblings a greeting, saying she loved her "babies" and that was OK...but a few others saying it I wasn't OK with...particularly said stupid boy mentioned above. Unless you're dating me and with me, don't wish it for me...arghh...now, spring, you need to come as this S.A.D. is hitting me too much...of course spring sometimes gets me a bit (much as I love it there is a sadness to it too) as it's a great time of year to be with someone...ah well...It's basically been 11 years since I was with someone in spring too so I should be used to it right!! I should never have dated L, it got me back into relationship mindset!

Grey Days

I miss the sun...it was out yesterday, it was actually a really nice day, it's too bad some personal other things kept me from fully enjoying. I attempted an 8 mile run, and completed it, but I hadn't slept well the night before due to some messy things in my life right now and while out trying to do a bit of shopping I was just scatter brained...came home, did the run, but it felt very difficult and was quite slow from what I had been running. I went to a friends house then for a birthday celebration. We were then supposed to go out to the bar, but I bailed with a few others prior to the bar as I just wasn't feeling up to going out. It's gray today and a cloud of sadness and hurt hangs over me...and I don't even know why except that I don't know what is going on...and sometimes not knowing is worse than the knowing...anyway, I did get some cleaning done today but that's about it. No workout, which I should've done and still could but not sure I feel up to it...maybe I'll go to the gym though. I really do need it. Maybe I'll feel better after a nice run and some strength training...