Route 66

Uncle Bruce was laid to rest yesterday. I've always loved this picture of him as it just shows Bruce. His loves (except he doesn't have a Miller Genuine Draft Light or a Scotch, his drinks of choice in his hand), although my aunt Elaine should have been next to him, unfortunately when this picture was taken, she had already passed away. The car had been his pride and joy, he bought it for her, and with her gone, it was his remnant of her. He continued to take it to car shows, and continued to win awards with it (prior to this car, he had had a '72 VW Bug convertible that won all shows he entered it in). This picture was taken in the summer, as his legion's fireman's dance fundraiser, the Vikings cheerleaders were there and we got them to crowd around him because Bruce appreciated the finer things in life (OK, so it was cheap beer and cheaper scotch usually but still) nice cars, booze and women...

Bruce was the guy that you could count on to help you out with anything that was in his control. He was a wonder with cars, he had a hoist in his garage and was always there to help you out or allow you to use it to get things taken care of on your vehicle. He retired a First Sergent in the Army reserves, and had served a tour of duty in Vietnam when he was in active service. He died on Veterans day, which was fitting, as that had been his life. That and his family. Be it the one he was born to, or the one that adopted and kept him even after Elaine died. I didn't get to see Uncle Bruce that often, usually just a family gatherings, but he was always a favorite uncle. In fact, I had intended on taking him and my other favorite uncle out to a strip club one night...it was discussed over beers, they were of course amiable to that (both being single) unfortunately that never happened. But man, it would've been fun! And yes, I was the one that had suggested it too...what things beer will make you say right?

Jim, Bruce's brother-in-law gave a great eulogy, I have no idea how he was able to get through it. The service was simple, like Bruce, (his brother-in-law and sister are ones to drinker nicer wines and micro-brewed beers, very opposite Bruce!) and we took him to Fort Snelling, where the flag on his coffin was folded and presented to his sister, a 21 gun salute was given, Taps was played, and we said our last farewells...My dad was behind me when we walked past the coffin, and I heard him say "farewell buddy" with a catch in his throat that made me lose it once more. We all met at his legion, had a few drinks, and visited. My sister and I were some of the last to leave, neither of us wanting to go, because it felt like once we left, we were forever leaving him.

One good that came out of the bad. Bruce was an organ donor. His sister abided by his wishes and his organs and tissue were able to help 150 people. Bruce would've liked that. And as Jim said in the eulogy...he pictures Bruce, in his 55 Thunderbird, Elaine as his side, driving down Route 66...and all of us are in the back seat...Bruce, we love you and you'll never be forgotten.

Anticipation and Sadness

I have no motivation right now…I have my up weeks and then there are the down ones…this is a down one (we are talking work related here) so I’m taking a few minutes to write about it. I guess I get some ebbs and flows. I have times when I’m super busy, so much going on, I end up with a kink in my neck cause I don’t move much during the day and realize how on I was all day and relaxing at the end of it is hard. Right now it’s kind of a lull though and I’m letting things relax and pile up a bit and then I’ll have another busy time I suppose. I guess I have to look at the fact that I have a couple of easy weeks coming up too. Last week was short week due to my favorite of all holidays…A day you only have to shop to get some wine to bring to dinner, and then you hang out and eat and drink all day…and watch football of course...what more can you ask for? I was at my parents from Wednesady through early Friday afernoon and ate way too much and drank way too much (not much on T-day cause of too much on the night before, but oh well!).

This week is going to be short, but it will be painful. We will be burying my uncle, and he was military, so his funeral will be even tougher (the guns get to me more than anything else)…but on the other side of it, I also get on a plane this Friday to visit one of my best friends in the world and I can’t wait. I fly to Spokane, WA on Friday, get in around 10 am, she picks me up and we drive to Sandpoint, ID where she now lives and I’ll be there through Monday, December 3 (leave early, early in the day on the 4th) back home by noon so will be back to the office (that will be a long day) for a half day. Wine will be drunk, reminiscing will be had, hot tubbing will happen, we might even do some skiing of some sort if they get some snow before that…All I know is I’m so looking forward to this trip.

I also thought I was moving forward from L. Was making progress at least, but I had something hit me on my run on Monday night. One of my many conversations I have with myself while I run. I was just overcome by sadness again. And then while I was watching Dancing with the Stars (yes, I’ll admit to that, I love ballroom dance, doesn’t matter to me who is doing it, I wish I could do it myself!!) and one song kind of hit me…I’ve been doing well, but it started me crying again. Not so much for him, necessarily, because in the true essence of everything, he wasn’t providing me what I needed…but I missed the idea of what he constantly talked about and what I thought I would get from him…if that makes sense. It was the promises he never did and never would have fulfilled, but I liked the ideas he shared…the fact that in 6 months he hadn’t once followed through on the things he had mentioned us doing should’ve clued me in…but I just so wanted to believe in him and the love I thought I had for him and that he had me convinced he had for me…how sad is that. I was so strong and full being single I thought, and just a few words from one guy and I now feel like I’m missing something, but it's something that I never had, so how can I miss it?? What’s wrong with me?

It's one of THOSE days...

You know, one of those days when you get to the gym, get a nice 5 mile run in, a tempo one, with 3 miles just below 8 minute pace and an overall pace around 8 minutes...and it feels really good...and then you get your strength training and rehab exercises done and feel great...but when you go to get ready for work, you find that you have two different shoes...not only that, but they are both LEFT shoes...sigh...And you can't even blame it on the fact that you were up at 5 am cause you packed your bag THE NIGHT BEFORE!

Weekend Recap

What a busy one it was too. Friday I didn’t do anything, but that was good cause I was up early and got a few things done around the house before I met up with a newer friend for a run. I forget how great longer runs can be with someone to help you through it. The plan was for 12 miles, which we accomplished at a 9:10 pace…it felt fairly easy too. That was with a couple of stretching stops and a bathroom stop for me. So not too bad. I’ve always heard that running with someone faster than you is a good thing, and apparently that was the case here. I’ve been running the longer runs at a 9:20 or so pace, and this included talking so a bit more challenging. Unfortunately the glute was still tight. After the run we went for a coffee to warm up and hung out for a while…then I had to rush home and meet my dad for our dinner date for his birthday. I took him to Manny’s. It’s a five star restaurant and according to Zagat’s has been one of the top five steakhouses in the country for the last 5 years or so. Dad loves steak and not knowing what to get him for his birthday…and his having heard about this place for a long time, I figured what better present to get him. We both had a 10 ounce filet (smallest cut of meat on the menu) and split a baked potato (all the sides are a la carte and meant to share) and had really good bread and then since it was a birthday, they brought out a yummy dessert that was brownie on the bottom, chocolate mousse in the middle and whipped cream smothered on top, then they put chocolate syrup on top of that with a birthday candle. It was a great meal and dad really enjoyed it. Plus it gave us about 3 hours of just dad and me, which was great. After dinner we met up with my mom and my aunt’s and then I went home to bed as I was exhausted…up at 7:30, run 12 miles, eat a steak dinner, I was ready for bed.

Sunday I met up with a friend for breakfast and we spent the afternoon watching the Vikings game. We won, which was a good thing, but when you’re playing a bad team…what does the win say?? Anyway, prior to breakfast, I had been up early so got a 30 minute bike ride at the gym with a 4 mile run after…finally figured out the weird feeling of running after a bike ride. What a challenge but after about half a mile my legs felt fine. I even managed to average 8:45 for the run, with a tough ride and then the 12 miles the day before I thought that was pretty good. Gave me 33 miles for the week, 4 bike rides of at least 30 minutes and 2 swims along with 3 days of 30 minutes of strength training. I’m happy with the week. Hopefully I can get a little more in this week cause next week I need to do a fall back since I doubt I’ll do much of anything on my vacation next week.

Personal Space

What is it with people feeling the need to invade personal space? I thought Americans were more known for needing that “wing span” of space and knowing to give people space. I know that in some countries, people move in much closer and are less needing of personal space that we are in America…But in this country there are just certain things you adhere to. For example, if you are at the movie theater, and it’s quiet, and there are a lot of open seats, you don’t take the seat directly next to someone you don’t know, or sit directly in front of behind them, out of respect for their space. In a public restroom, if there are few people in there, and there are a lot of stalls, you don’t take the stall right next to one in use, you leave at least one between you…just the common things that most people seem to recognize as unwritten rules…or maybe I’m just weird, but these are things I’ve observed happening so I can’t be the only one!! Anyway, today I finally made my goal of getting out of bed early and getting to the gym before work. I have been wanting to get up and do that 2-3 times a week to strength train, saving a drive during lunch and getting a good start to the day (at least in theory). So I got up, got myself ready (did hair and makeup since I don’t necessarily sweat a lot during strength training) and went off to the gym. Had my workout done and was changing to head to work…now the lockers at the gym are U shaped and there are a number of these U shaped sections all lined with lockers (as most gyms are set up). They have 3 lockers on each of the legs of the U that are tall, and then 3 others that are short with 1 stacked on top of the other. I tend to take the shorter ones, next to the taller one (as they aren’t often used) on the bottom for ease of getting into and out of. I got back to my locker, had it open and my stuff spread out, getting myself dressed and getting stuff shoved back in the bag. I was taking up my share of space, but at this time of the day, the gym was very, very quiet…in fact in this space I was in, there was only one other person. And she had just arrived and was getting ready to get out for her workout. She asks me if I’m using the locker next to me, the tall one…I said no…then she takes her coat and sticks it in. Then she kind of moves my coat (which is laying in front of the locker door, this locker is open) and then asks if that is my coat, which I said yes, it was, she moves it, shuts the door and then puts it back…all this time I was looking around, the 3 tall lockers on the other side, where no one was, were all free…in fact one of the was partly open and you could see it was not in use…WHY did she have to have the one next to me??? Or why couldn’t she wait till I had moved? I get the idea of using the same locker each time. Honestly I do. I tend to do that and get in a habit of it…but if someone is there and I have to disturb them to get to it, I adapt and use a different one…I heard someone talking on the radio earlier this week too about having been at a Starbucks recently, sitting alone at one of their small tables, one that is meant for one person or, at most two, but only if you are sitting very intimately…she had her stuff spread over the table and was reading. A woman came over and asked a lady next to her if she could share the table with her. The woman sitting told the new woman that she was meeting someone…the woman then came to the radio person and asked her. The radio person looked around and saw there were many open tables and pointed that out…the new woman said they were all undesirable cause they were by the line…so the radio person gave her the go ahead. Woman took over the table…radio person finally told her she would go take one of the other tables and left. Now me, personally, would not have let the new woman sit there, cause I’m kind of a bitch sometimes, but how rude is that to ask someone even? It’s one thing if it’s a big table and there aren’t other places to sit, but when there are places to sit…

Workouts through Wednesday

Monday – Strength training for 30 minutes. I wanted to do something else too, but by the time got away from the chiropractor I just wanted to go home. So I did…

Tuesday – 7 mile run. I left from Bally’s, did two loops around Normandale lake and came back. I almost got hit by an inattentive driver (thankfully I was paying attention) and almost called and reported her as I memorized the license…should’ve made her roll her window down and yelled at her, but I didn’t want to interrupt my run more. My slamming my hands on her car should’ve hopefully scared her enough to pay a bit more attention. Anyway, after that I went and got on the bike for 30 minutes…did almost 10 miles in that time (level was only at a 5 on the bike, but I’m building up) and then was going to swim, but kind of felt like going home then, so I did…

Wednesday – Strength training for 30 minutes at lunch. After work and the chiro, I hit the gym and did 4 miles, a 1 mile w/u then 2 miles at 8:30 (8:35 and 8:31 to be exact) pace and then a cool down mile. After that I jumped on a bike and did 30 minutes and 10 miles…no idea if the level I’m using for making it harder is that hard or not, I haven’t tested things all that much, but it feels like a workout. I didn’t get into the pool yet…

All this working out, I did strength for 30 minutes last week and ran 30 miles, longest in a long time with a 10 mile run in there one of the days, and still not feeling or seeing any weight loss…it’s very frustrating. Tonight I’m meeting a friend for a run, we might only get 4 in together cause of time issues on his part, but I plan on adding whatever more I need to to get 6 and then swing by the gym for a bike and/or swim. If I don’t get the swim in tonight, I’m for sure getting it in tomorrow!! I’m not running tomorrow, but am going to try to get up and strength train before work then leave work at 3, run a computer I need to get rid of to the Mall of America (they are having a free electronics pickup) hopefully get a gift bought for a friend at a new store there and back to the gym by 4 to get a swim and bike ride in…and look at what I have coming:

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday Dad! OK, I’m a day late (and failed to get a card in the mail, but I did call him like a good daughter and I’m taking him out for a really nice dinner someplace he’s always wanted to go to on Saturday night) on this wish as his birthday was yesterday, but like I said, I did call him and we talked for a while. I love my dad very much and appreciate so much the sacrifices he’s made over the years for his family. He worked long hours and often away from home to be able to give us all the things we needed and many of the things we didn’t need but wanted and he has always been there when I need him.

When I was running high school track, meets were during the week, but also on weekends. Weekends were the time dad was home and his time to relax and maybe do yard work or whatever he needed or wanted to do before he had to go back to work, away from home, during the week…but he was always there for meets. Even when they were far away and took up almost all of his Saturday. He never complained about the time he could be doing other things…he was there to cheer and watch and was always proud. He even came to a during the week event once, when it happened to be close to where he was working, and was later at night, and he had to get up early to work in the morning. He wasn’t able to express verbally how he felt, at least not easily, but he definitely showed me through his actions how he felt. Any chance he had to be at any events he was there and this has carried through into my adult life as well.

When I decided to run a marathon, and chose one that was father’s day weekend, dad and mom hauled their fifth wheel up to Duluth, camped out and were there to watch, and dad was right at the finish line to get a sweaty hug. After that weekend he even sent me a card, thanking me for a wonderful father’s day and the chance to be there to watch me finish. He was then bragging to all his friends and co-workers about my running. When I ran Chicago, he was there, meeting my internet running friends and figuring out why I enjoyed being on line chatting to them so much, and braving the streets of Chicago (dad HATES big cities), cheering for me when I needed the help at mile 16.5 and then surprising me by seeing me cross the finish line. He had even bought me flowers for my finish…. Then my PR marathon, when I ALMOST got my BQ he was there again. Again father’s day weekend and again something that he was happy to do. He has the miles for a free ticket, and he almost used them to come see me run at Marine Corp, but I’m actually glad he didn’t, because I told him I’d like him to hold those miles, I’d love to have him use them to fly to Boston…because I want him to be there for the biggest. There are so many people I know that get funny looks and little support for their running from people close to them. They hear all about how bad it can be for you and their families don’t even try to understand it. My dad never has to asked me why I run, he just knows I do, knows I love it and is there to support me no matter where or why. Hopefully I can make him proud and have him see me hit that time I need next year at Twin Cities. I love you dad.

To Bruce...We'll All Miss You

I'm going to have to write more on this later, but I had news today that my uncle Bruce is going to be removed from ventilators today. He took a couple of falls a week ago and ended up at a Las Vegas hospital (he winters near Laughlin) and appeared paralyzed on one side, but was responsive and seeming to improve all week, but we had word today that there was pressure building on his brain stem and there was nothing they could do. He was expected to only last a couple of days and today his sister made the decision to take him off life support. Bruce isn't my uncle by blood, but when he married my aunt, he became part of our family. He made Elaine very happy till the day she lost her fight to breast cancer 6 years ago. Since losing Elaine, Bruce has not been happy, and I guess the one blessing in this is that he will now be with her again. He loved her so much...

10 Miles

Today I went out for a 10 mile run. Longest run I've done in quite a long time...and unfortunately I'm STILL feeling the glute pain. It was feeling tight the whole run, and now the leg is still tight. I'm using my roller and my stick and can't seem to get it loosened up...I don't know what more to do. I've been seeing the chiro for a month now. Two times a week. I'm doing my exercises...granted I can't swear to having done them twice day every day, but it's been that way more often than not. And I've added in strength training, full body and specific stuff for the problem area and it still isn't enough. I just don't know what more to do. I wasn't prevented from the run, it's just not comfortable and it's really bad feeling after. Shorter runs haven't been as much of a problem, it's just this longer stuff that seems to get it. I see the chiro again on Monday, but I can't keep seeing a chiro 2 times a week or more hoping it will eventually help...shouldn't I have seen something by now? I wonder if I should go see my doctor and do some PT (before my insurance changes in January), if I can fit it in...As far as the run, other than the glute, it wasn't bad. I ran 10 miles at a 9:18 pace, which is kind of standard for me if I haven't been doing speedwork and such. I know, I know, I can run, which is more than some people are able to do right now, but I just want the comfort back...I want it to feel good...the way it should...

On another note. I had a fairly productive day. I stayed in last night so was up early and cleaned out my garage enough to get firewood out of my car and piled where it's supposed to be and have space for more. I have a ton of boxes I need to get cleaned out though. What a freaking pain...then I went to Trader Joe's, Cub, Super Target and Dick's and was back home before noon...talked to a friend on the phone, did a bit of cleaning (including laundry) and then my run and a short nap. Had a text conversation with a friend who suggested a beer, which I'm contemplating but still not sure I want to go out. Oh, and updated her on the L situation as she hadn't been in on it yet. I've been telling people slowly...

On that end...it's been 2 weeks now since the fateful night we ended things...well, he ended things. I mean it had been in my mind off and on and it wasn't something I had decided on yet...I think I'm past the upset stage and kind of more angry. Angry about the promises, or implied promises that he had made and never kept...and the fact that he had me thinking so much into the future (which I would never have done so early in anything) when apparently he didn't mean any of what he said. I still stick to his words, when discussion my quirks at one point and telling him they can get annoying very quickly and he said he wasn't 20 anymore and knew what he could and couldn't handle. Well, one of those quirks ends up kind of being the only real answer he gave me for why things wouldn't work between us. Go figure. He might not be 20, but some things were certainly actions that spoke of a 20 year old.

Running and Eventually Swimming!

Another day, another chiro visit and another run. Hopefully I can keep the rants to a minimum now…I have a few things I could comment on, but will try to not say anything if I can’t say anything nice!! One of my friends I mentioned in the post yesterday was very concerned that I thought she was ignoring me and I hope I’ve reassured her that that is definitely not the case. She has a very busy schedule and a lot going on in her own life and we’ve been there for each other as much as we can and I know if I really needed it, she’d be there, but the unfortunate thing is money and time are not on her side to be able to get together that often…which is too bad as I know she needs to get out more herself.

Yesterday it was dark and cold by the time I got done at the chiro so I chose to run at the gym. My plan was speedwork…nothing major, just a couple of faster mile runs with a recovery in between…I had run off a tentative training schedule for the Breast Cancer Marathon in Jacksonville, FL in February and am tentatively following it (I put it together off Runner’s World’s training program) but made some adjustments since the time I put in is much faster than I plan to run this one in. Anyway, I decided the miles at 8:30 pace would be good and I used the indoor track and managed to do a mile warm up, 1 mile at 8:20, a recovery half around 4:30 and then a second mile at 8:16 with a recovery again around 4:30 and decided to do one more fast half, 3:50 and finish with an easy 4:30 half…Total run for 5 miles was 43: and some odd seconds so not too bad. Fastest I’ve done in a really long time and it felt fine. I think I’m still a little tight on one side though and forgot to do some of my exercises this morning. Wanted to get to work…I can do the upper ones but kind of hard to do the others at work. I plan to either lightly run or elliptical train tonight after drinks with friends for a birthday celebration…then to bed since I just didn’t get enough sleep last night for whatever reason. I couldn’t sleep, woke up too early this morning.

One other thing I decided though is even though a tri next year is probably out, there is no reason why I can’t get my butt into the pool since it would be a good cross training for me. So this weekend I intend on getting out to Dick’s or someplace to get some goggles…and I’m looking into a new swim suit, a nice lap swim one…was looking for clearance Speedo online but if anyone has any recommendations on other suits I’m open to listening. I just figure Speedo since it’s a name I know and I found a few for under $50 shipped which isn’t too bad. I have a couple of suits I can use till I get the new one too. Only problem I’m running into is sizing…32, 34, 36…is that waist hips or bust? Couldn’t find anything to explain and I’m used to small, medium, large!!

Support Networks

Suppose it’s time to stop with the downer posts. Not much else to write about, well, I have all kinds of things I seem able to compose in my head on runs and never manage to remember what I wanted to say when I get near a computer…Anyway, I am still in a state over numerous things but it’s to be expected…I can take at least a month or two to grieve right? But this week I do have to allow for a bit of getting out of the house…I have house guests coming tonight. Denise and Josh are going to be here sometime a bit later tonight (after my bedtime, am I pathetic or what since they should be there by 10?) and are staying with me tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow is Denise’s birthday and we are going out for that…she is in for some surprises too, but there will be going out then. Friday and Saturday though I think I’ll stay in. I have options to go out on Saturday and just not sure I feel up to it. I might just hit a nice 10 miler since it’s supposed to be back in the 50s (as opposed to the 30s and 40s so far this week) and then just veg at home. We’ll see. I have the house to myself as my roommate is hanging at her boyfriends for the next few days. I’ve been a bit disappointed in a friend though. She is one I helped through her divorce from her ex, who cheated on her…I was there when she was going through it all, debating taking him back, when it finally fell apart, all the guys she dated and/or just hung out with in that time. Going out with her as she needed etc…and now since her divorce has been final and she’s now involved with someone else that she plans to marry and get pregnant with soon, she is never around. I used to see her at least a few times a week, then at least once a week and now she’s been busy with work and I get that, but I maybe see her once a month…and on those times all I get to hear is complaints about him and then it sometimes tends to be an early night. I hadn’t even had an email or anything from her in a while, responded to a joke she forwarded me on Monday, she asked what was new, I told her about L and her response was are you sad? When I said of course and ranted a bit she told me I should’ve called her last week as she had been around, and that she was here to go out to dinner, drink, movie whatever I needed…and that she would’ve called me right then but didn’t want to upset me at work and had a conference call…this was all yesterday…I had responded that I didn’t want to leave the house (I guess when someone says that to me, I feel it’s my job to drag them out and cheer them up but that’s just me and/or call and make sure they are OK) and I had friends in town for the next couple of days and then I was probably staying in all weekend…so nothing back from her regarding any of this yet today and no call or anything last night to be sure I was OK. When she was going through her stuff, I was calling her constantly just checking in to be sure she felt OK. Apparently a break up with someone you had only been dating for 6 months isn’t as big of a deal. And it’s not like I’m getting divorced right? The thing that sucks so much is that I really don’t have a support network around me. Granted, I’ve had a lot of people over to talk, told me to call, and have tried calling me, and I haven’t felt up to it, but someone who has known me as long as she has, and who I was there for should be able to be there for me…my roommate has a boyfriend, she’d be there to go out, but, well, not sure what I feel there…another friend married with 3 kids, no chance to go out, another friend, divorced with a 5 year old, no chance to go out as babysitters are expensive and going out usually isn’t in her budget…others are around but not really reliable no matter what…so even if I wanted to go out, not really an option…wow, I’m pretty pathetic. I’ve been saying I need to get to know more people, one of these days maybe I will…or maybe I’ll just get back into the staying in, hanging at home, and just running and working out…nothing wrong with that. I did get 6 in yesterday. I was tight through both glutes and hamstrings due to lunges the day before so no idea if things are improving or not, but going to see the chiro soon to find out. I’m just getting so frustrated as nothing seems to work…this has been going on over a year. I’m doing the stretches and strength work, I’m starting to strength train. I took time off running. I’m building back up slowly…I’m doing everything right…I just want to feel good and have running feel good again.

November??

Well, been trying to get an update up for the last week and what do you know, it still hasn’t happened. Anyway, I’m still feeling upset, which should not be unusual considering it all, but I’ve also come to a realization that I don’t want to do it anymore. Now I’m not going to be stupid and say I’m never dating again and have to eat my words 2 years down the road, but honestly, I don’t want to do it anymore. I was with someone that I cared deeply for. I let down a lot of walls and protections that I had had in place, and I let myself open up and trust the things he was saying and telling me…including the talk about the future, which when it came up, seemed to be way too much for the period of time we had been together. But for whatever reason, I let him convince me this was the way it was and was going to continue. He seemed to think he had found everything he wanted…we had just had a discussion about it before his last trip in fact. How I needed to realize he was doing some of the things he was doing because it was going to be great for the future…it was for us. There were still things I wasn’t sure on, but I had a lot of what I would want in someone and I was sure that what was missing would come. If he loved me as much as he said, there was no way it wouldn’t come right? But guess I was wrong about it, and all I know is that I have no interest in pursuing something new down the road. Let’s face it, first dates, really not a lot of fun. In fact dating in general I have been known to deem similar to the waterboarding being discussed right now…in fact I think I’d rather go through waterboarding than dating…think about it, you are out with someone that you are trying to impress while at the same time trying to figure out if you want to see again, it’s a situation of judgment on both parts, who knows what will come of it and all the games that go with it. Can’t call right after the date, that seems desperate right? Have to wait x days to go out again as you don’t want to give the wrong impression…it’s what I liked about L…what drew me in…there were no games. He said he was going to call, he called. He liked me and was quite vocal about it. When he told me he loved me, it freaked me out, but I got over that and realized I felt the same…it was just something that happened, and it was good and that just doesn’t happen for me…it’s the first time in 9 years that something happened that easily…anyway, enough on that…

Last week was an OK workout week. I weight trained for 25 minutes 3 days, I made my goal run 5 days and I hit 26 miles. Another couple of weeks and I’ll be back to the 6 days or so a week running and 30-40 miles that I was enjoying. Only problem is, even seeing the chiro like I have been, and doing the exercises that I need to, I’m still not having the results I wanted/hoped for…and I’m getting so down and frustrated about that…lost my boyfriend and running still isn’t what it should be. Seems very unfair.