Results are in...

And it is good!

So, officially I'm giving notice at B&N during my shift on Sunday. I'm hoping the next schedule isn't up before then as I want to tell them I will just work out the schedule that is up and that will be it. I haven't asked for it off yet, but I need Friday and Saturday of Memorial weekend off for a cousin's graduation party anway. My thought is if you can't have schedules up with more advance notice, then too bad...I guess that would be kind of burning bridges, but some of the treatment I have been given there, I just don't feel like it's worth it anyway. I might go see if I can find a job at one of the running stores a few hours a month though, just for fun.

Anyway, I spent all Wednesday night feeling anxious, waiting for Thursday and the call. I went and saw a movie with my roommate and then had a bite to eat, then tried to go home and sleep...it wasn't happening. I was at work till about noon, but I had a mattress being delivered and I had to go home to meet them and decided to take the afternoon off as well. I went down to Calhoun and tried to relax, but just had that anxious feeling all day. Around 3 my recruiter called and asked if I had heard anything yet and I told her my freak out, but she assured me an offer was coming. Then I went and bought some flowers to plant in my planters, stopped and bought a bottle of wine for my mom for mother's day and then finally on my way home I had the call...and when she told me the offer they were making me, I had to repeat it myself and have her repeat so I knew I was hearing right. There is an overnight package coming today or tomorrow for me to look over benefits and everything and I asked to have till Monday, but I honestly don't need that. I'm trying to negotiate a little more vacation time, but beyond that, even if they say no, I wouldn't turn it down. The offer is just too good. For one, I would actually be in a position with more clout/power. I won't be requested to bring files to people, to deal with all kinds of things that are tedious and something I wouldn't even need the college education for. There is a chance for some travel to other offices to give some training to people on things. And there are offices in cool places (Shanghai, UK). The company is smaller, but owned by a larger company trying to grow them. My hours are going to be going back to what I liked (the early leave time of 4 or so) and the commute is no further than where I currently am, although can be worse if weather conditions are bad cause not as many backroads (but I can learn the few that are there). There aren't as many things around for running errands and one of my best friends doesn't work there, and I do really like my current boss and hate leaving him, but still...the offer...and the options...too good to pass up. When I had my thought of what they would offer, and that would be enough to quit B&N easily, that was good. I thought a little above that would be nice, then I thought, wow, this figure would be awesome (this was Wednesday before trying to sleep) and then they came back above the last figure...can't really pass that up can I? Not when all other things are coming back higher too.

OK, now the big tricky part. Quitting B&N will not be a big deal to me. But quitting my real job, that's going to be hard. I'm giving notice on Monday, as soon as I sign and fax the acceptance offer...but how do I do that...I feel bad about it. I know, I know, I shouldn't...but I do...

The Weekend in Recap

So much to do at work but so lacking the motivation so here is an update.

Friday we were lucky enough to get to leave work early. I found this out right after my workout, I had done 5 on the treadmill because it’s too freaking cold to go outside (yes, it is April, but it was so cold and windy I just couldn’t tolerate it) I got back to my desk around 1:30 and we got to leave at 2…that was awesome. Gave me time to stop at Super Target on the way home and get the few things I needed for my dessert for Easter dinner and then head home for nap, which I did manage. I got up about 2 hours later and checked email and the friend I was unsure about was coming with, she tried to call me too however and left a message that she was up for going for a little while, but not necessarily late. OK, well, whatever she was coming out. Made plans to meet up a bit early so we could go to a place she would find a drink she liked and still get to the regular place by happy hour. Well, the place we were going isn’t the place any of us likes for a hang out, but they have her drink…personally I think she’s too fussy as she likes margaritas, OK, fine, but they can make them anywhere as she wasn’t getting them blended at the bar we were at and if she asks the bartender at the other place he will make drinks the way she wants them, I think she just kind of needs something to complain about and after the antics this weekend, I'm not going to be too anxious to go out with her again.

So anyway, there was a really, really cute waiter I was staring at and I got a bit of a buzz before we went to where I might see C…so I guess the early stop was fine. We got there, my dive, my local hangout, my Cheers, and had a shot right away. No idea why…but oh well. The evening progressed and I was talking to a guy I had met earlier in the week and another guy, then ran into someone else that I knew but hadn’t seen in a long time, he didn’t remember me but I know people he knows and reminded him where I knew him from...later he was hitting on my roomie and she was not appreciating his come on lines…mainly talking about how much money he makes, what kind of car he drives, etc. She wasn’t impressed. She did like another guy that we had been talking with though, and got his number and has chatted with him a bit. She has some things going on, he has some things going on, so neither are really probably right for much, but a friendship is cool. So the reason was upset with the one friend...we were going to go for pizza after the bar, it sounded so good and there is a place open late, there was someone else that was going to come with us too…a new potential crush of mine if you will, and my friend wasn’t game. She was absolutely insistent that she was going home and was not going for pizza…ummm…yeah…OK, you aren’t driving, isn’t it friend rule/etiquette to help another friend out with a guy and if that means staying out a little longer when you can SLEEP IN THE NEXT DAY ANYWAY and don’t have plans to do anything but watch movies at home on Saturday night anyway. Sigh…we were going to come back and have pizza anyway and told him to ride along but last minute he turned off to go home (he lives around the corner, oh and no, I don't have a thing for Leo DiCaprio, BUT the crush kind of resembles him in this movie...kind of strange, I've never been attracted to Leo but found him sexy in The Departed and then meet a guy that looks like him...) and said he’d see me around at "the place"…he did give me a hug, but he didn’t ask for my number, he didn’t ask me for an actual meet up time and place…a guy friend suggested it's hard to know when to ask and not be pushy, etc and another friend suggested he might be shy...guess we'll see. Darn friends that won't heed etiquette...thing is, roomie wasn't drinking and has less sleep, weird hours and what not and had had the bad man experience as well, but SHE was still fine to go. My roomie is awesome. She's also a good friend and she was trying to get to know the interest as well, feel out what he was like, but the other friend was down at the other end of the bar talking to people she apparently knew, but wasn't even trying to talk to any of us (I had made trips back and forth to talk to the groups I knew)...she has her very set, I need to be talking to a guy I'm interested in (even though I've been known to chat with her and whatever guy she was interested in) or I don't want to be out kind of mindset and it gets annoying. OK, so maybe I was being rude toward the end only talking to the interest, but it wasn't my WHOLE night (and I've never taken off on her to go to a guys house).

Saturday I got up feeling fine but a bit tired and wanted to run. It was 16. That didn’t include the windchill. April sucks. I opted out of the run and was going to go later, but roomie and I went for food then a bit of shopping and finally home for naps. I ended up sleeping about 3 hours. Off and on. I haven’t slept good in so long I really need to catch up anyway so I did that and then got stuff ready for Sunday and then had to work at 6:30. Ended up meeting a friend out for a snack after (he had beer, I drop and ate) and then home to bed late again. And again no real great sleep. Up Sunday, got a quick light run (had a really good start to the week with 25 miles in by Thursday and then only got another 9 after that) and then to my sister’s for dinner and then to B&N to work. So annoying. I realized I 1) can’t work there two days in a row and 2) can’t work 8 days in a row, and by the time Saturday comes and I have a day off again, it will be 14 days in a row that I’ve worked and not had a day off. I need at least one full day to do what I want or I just freak out. I was in a great mood on Saturday night, have been managing to fake it at least and give off good vibe while working, well, that doesn’t work two days in a row…sigh…After work on Sunday roomie and I went to see her new friend as he was working (he's a bartender at a bar near our house) and had a bite to eat.

My eating was awful too. I’m up about 2 pounds from where I have been…and I’m going on vacation and might need to wear a swim suit while gone on Saturday. Sigh…hopefully I can run off this crap and not eat for the next 5 days and be back down at least the 2 pounds, and maybe more solidly the 3 that I thought I had lost. But I am meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow, have to be careful on what I order…the rest of the week I should be able to be good though - OK, this was written yesterday, thankfully after a double day (7 at lunch and 10 after work) I am back down to reasonable places. I'm hoping for another 7 at lunch today and another double tomorrow and possibly Friday before I'm out of town for so long!

Thursday Recap and Friday Night...

Ok, I know what I really need to do. Stop complaining and just quit…but it’s not quite that easy as the little bit I do make actually is used toward a couple of expenses that were unexpected in the last year and I’m trying to get paid off and a little bit of “fun” money…my budget is just too tight right now…then there is the brief thought I’ve had of buying a house and the fact that I’ve been at B&N for over 2 years and the income provides something would be a plus in approval on a mortgage, but it so just doesn’t seem worth it. For one thing I thought I was working 6-11 last night, bad enough as it’s just late when I have a million things I have to be focused on right now at my day job, and then get there to find that I was wrong, I actually worked 6:30-11:30, so almost midnight before I got to bed and then I was up hitting snooze till 6 before trying to get to work at 7, I was here just after…Anyway, annoyance from last night and please, tell me if anyone sees anything wrong with this picture and/or phrasing (remember, I work part-time, 10 hours a week, that’s 2 5 hour shifts a week and no more unless absolutely necessary!)…I need March 9-18 off. I might be going to my parents during part of that time, I have friends coming into town, there’s, of course, St. Patrick’s day (and I worked the darn thing last year, this year I am going out wearing my clover lei and shamrock glasses damnit!) etc…so I told the store manager (there are 3 of the managers we can have write down that we need off on the calendar and she was the one available, and this is almost a month away that I need this time) that I needed those dates off. She right away says, the 10th isn’t going to work, we have too many already off that day (I think there is some event of some sort that day as there were only 4 written down for off that I could see), and I said well, I’m going out of town…she asks when I work again, and I said Monday, she tells me she’ll put it down with a question mark that Lynn will have to take a look and decide…umm…still going out of town (probably, might go that Friday night and come back yet on Saturday, just figuring that out), then she actually tells me “well, next time talk to us before you make plans to leave town”…ummm…yeah, I’m part time. So, that’s when I threw out the bomb “my mom is turning 60…and my dad is retiring” she says, “oh, well, guess that can’t be controlled.” Hmm…you think. OK, technically my mom’s birthday is the 16th, but I was going to go home at least part of the weekend before cause a friend is in town the next weekend and I haven’t seen him in a couple of years. I’m pretty sure I will be giving my notice on Monday when I go in. This will cover in case they try to schedule me the 10th. Even if I don’t give notice, I will not be working the 10th. I can guarantee that.

On a little better note, hell project is getting close to being done I hope. I’m tired from work last night, exhausted from the stress of the week, ready to kill all of my boss’, might have to blog on that at another time…let’s get this straight, I do like them usually, but right now it’s just too much!! But anyway, I did get an 8 miler in at lunch yesterday, and today I did 30 minutes of strength training and tried to convince myself the treadmill is my friend, but unfortunately it just wasn’t happening…I skipped elliptical too. I might go for a 3-4 miler tonight, AFTER I take a nap that is. The temps are warming up, I’ve watched it go from 9 to 11 to 13 and now it’s 16…it might hit the 20s they were predicting yet today. And next week a heat wave!! We are supposed to get into the 30s!! I won’t know how to dress for that.

Today on a debate with myself, but I think I’ve found the answer. I have a friend that wants to have people meet up for a happy hour, I’m just too darn tired. If I do the happy hour I pretty much have to be out for the evening, and that just doesn’t seem appealing. I need a little recovery and some down time before I head there, just because I’m so tired from no sleep last night. I could run there for a drink, go back home, attempt a quick nap and then get out for the evening, but that wastes an hour in the driving to the happy hour and back (30 minutes each way figuring parking and all that). I’m bummed cause it’s at a place I haven’t been in ages and I’d like to go, but I’m just so tired I don’t see it happening. I think instead I’ll head home, take a nap, go for a 3-4 mile run, have a little dinner, drink a daiquiri and then go to my regular place when my friend gets to my place around 9 (which I told her to do!). And she has very strict orders to keep me away from C...long, long story on that one and I'm still confused...maybe something will end up here on it, but I don't know that I want to bore everyone. Sounds so much less stressful though just starting from home later…I feel bad though as I’d like to talk to the friend at the happy hour anyway, as I haven’t seen him in a while…this would be J2…

Work and V-day

I realized in my little recap of the run from yesterday I didn’t mention anything about B&N…so I went to work on Monday night and had my walking papers (2 week notice letter) all ready to go, did this a few times last fall in fact too, but didn’t turn it in. I kind of was waiting for something to push me to it, and one of the things, the passive aggressive behavior of one of the managers (instead of flat out saying I was doing “wrong” by chatting for a minute or two, so sue me, it was a slow night, to one of the regular customers that I haven’t chatted with in a while) coming and “asking me” if I could go straighten in another area of the store, well away from the café where I was chatting (only because I had been in there to pick up books that needed to be put away I might add, so it’s not like I just walked over there to talk to him). Tomorrow I work again, and you never know…I might end up quitting then. It’s all just a matter of time. I do thank those who responded and yes, the idea of another part-time job has been in my mind, but the thing is there aren’t many other retail places I would want to work, a running store is about it, and I don’t think they have very high turnover and/or very many employees. I know the one I talked to last fall was full and even then the part-timers work from 10-30 hours a month…so we’ll see. It was sounding like might not be till spring that they might be hiring.

More work frustrations today too. I like my boss, he’s a nice guy, but he’s down in my office everyday right now wanting a status update on how things are with it, and then constant phone calls, even though I’ve been updating him end of the day, everyday, to let him know where things stand. Granted, he’s new, and this is a major project and we have a lot of pressure to have it all done/updates in by Friday, but all the phone calls, emails and stop bys don’t help…sigh…I might need to head out for a drink somewhere this evening…big problem is it’s February 14th, so one of the only nights that you can’t really go out, inconspicuously alone, and have a drink. Especially as a girl. The places that I wouldn’t mind running to for said drink, that are not far from home, are also probably not the best place to go alone…and unfortunately I don’t tend to go out during the week, and most of my friends are attached anyway, so really no one to go out with. I so hate this day. And no, not because I’m bitter single, but because it’s a day that recognizes the laziness and taking for granted that people do for each other. Why is it one day of the year should be taken to say I love you to those around you. Does an overpriced bouquet of red roses (and believe me guys, most women would much prefer a mixed bouquet of something that shows you have some imagination, sure have a red rose in it, but there are so many flowers and mixed bouquets are so pretty and most decent women don’t even care if they are from a nice flower shop, they can come from the grocery store or the farmer’s market, but the fact that you thought to buy them is the most important thing), maybe some expensive chocolates and possibly an expensive dinner one night of the year really make up for neglect the other 364 or 365 (in leap year!) days? Granted, it might be that everyday is love and that one day is extra romantic, but I don’t think that’s the reality…it also puts this extra pressure on. Hmm…I wonder if the approach of this holiday has anything to do with all the pressure I’ve suddenly been feeling that “I should be dating someone”…

Should I Stay or Should I go?

I have to work tonight. Guess what? I don’t want to work tonight. In fact I never want to go to work at B&N again. I had an epiphany on Saturday night, but with all the blogging I did in my rant about singlehood and my update on my run I just didn’t get time to blog about my night and my epiphany…B&N is full of negative energy. It’s bringing me down and probably a huge reason why things have been off for me lately. Why people who don't obey the laws and let their dogs run without leashes bother me. And why, when normally I've been a huge dog lover, all the barking dogs on the yards annoy me. I'm taking in all this negative and I need to get it out, so my attitude sends it back out and prevents me from "not sweating the small stuff." Ever since the new year, when I made a decision to be more upbeat, happy and putting positive energy out there, it’s been harder and harder to be in that place. Customer’s are worse now than they ever have been. I don’t go a single shift without dealing with someone that is just out to cause problems and/or pick a fight (case in point last Wednesday when I was standing at the one computer at our info desk and a guy came to the counter, near the other computer and as far away from me as he could get, was diddling in his notebook, so apparently didn't have a question, then I heard him saying excuse me, kind of quietly and thought he was on his phone, I was watching for those that might need help, when I finally realized he was talking to me, so I looked at him and he finally walked over to where I was standing and at the same time complaining that he has “been trying to get my attention for at least 40 seconds”…umm, yeah, why don’t you come to where I am for help. Idiot, and he wasn’t one of the old crotchety ones either, come on people, if someone is standing at a computer, go to where they are, not the complete opposite side from them) and criticism from the managers. Seriously, for all that I get criticized (and no, it’s not just them picking on me, I know others hear it too) you’d think I should be fired from the place. Saturday night it was a “make sure you are doing recovery and not just standing there for an hour. There was a lot of recovery in kids when you were over there.” Umm, yeah, the manger had come into kids 10 minutes before I left and when just 5 minutes before suddenly a ton of people had come into the department, prior to that it had been quiet and I had put all things that were out away…can’t exactly put it away when customer’s are looking at it can I?? So basically for $8.25 an hour, 5 hours at a time, 2 shifts a week I get to be put down by customers, criticized by managers and made to feel even more low about myself than I do most other times. And in exchange I don’t get to go to bed when I feel like going to bed, I get to stand around instead of relaxing and/or getting runs and/or other workouts in. I find myself so drained from all the negative stuff that I can’t seem to find the energy that I need for my runs anymore…oh and dealing with crappy customers sends me to the café where I eat chocolate cupcakes, cinnamon rolls and on some occasions cheesecake that I don’t need, not when I’m trying to lose 6 more pounds!! (oh, and eating them later at night so I get sugar in my system and can’t get to sleep) I kind of made the decision in my mind on Saturday night though, that this is no longer worth it. Sure, I do technically kind of need the money, I have a few bills I’ve really been trying to pay down and without that income, it’s going to be even longer before they are paid off…but seriously, I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. So I guess I just don’t have any fun spending money anymore, I cancel all plans for vacations beyond my already booked one and save my sanity…and of course look for something else full time that pays more or hope and pray something opens up at one of the running stores and I can work there a few hours a month, and/or I find something else in the part-time arena to do.

I’m going to type up my notice and when I’m in tonight, we’ll see how it goes and if I give it or not. Am I brave enough to? I just don’t want to give up weekend time anymore for that place. But then again, if I'm home, I tend to snack, that isn't conducive to my weight loss, and if I'm not working, I don't really have money for going out...wow that's a Catch 22 isn't it, but then hey, I don't have money to have food in the house then either right? It's just so not worth it. I wish I could find a job just making a little bit more than I do right now…there’s still the roommate option too. Although I do so like living by myself so much better. It's a tough decision.