Discontent...and some lingering Sadness

There is a discontentment that I’m feeling right now…a need or lacking of something in my life and I’m not sure how to go about correcting it and/or finding what is missing or causing this discontent.

On Tuesday night I was so excited, my friends were going to be in town and we were going to get to spend some quality time together before they continue on their journey to Idaho. They got to my place about 8:15 and we then went to meet up with other friends for dinner. We had good food and wine, a few drinks at another bar and then home and Leesa and I sat up, while Dan went to bed, and talked till late…it was just a really nice chance to catch up and so refreshing to find her and I are still so on the same wavelength about so many things. See, Leesa is one of those people that you never know where you are going to find them, but if you do, and are lucky enough to have them come into your life, you will forever be changed. She’s generous and fun, always concerned about others feelings and making sure what she is doing isn’t an inconvenience or burden to someone else, she is a beautiful person, inside and out. I love being around her as we just click so well when it comes to what we enjoy doing and our thoughts and philosophies on life and maybe it’s because it seems she has really lived while I feel like I have been watching so much of my life, that I have even more admiration for her. She has ended up finding things and takne me on excursions I never would've experienced otherwise and I'm so glad I Have. She is the kind of person that draws people to her because of the fact that she is so easy going. It’s when she moved to Minnesota and had complaints about the fact that it was so hard to meet people and find new friends that I realized exactly how true that statement was and how closed off the state is as she is someone you can’t help but like and enjoy being around. We met at a job orientation. It was a complete fluke as I was starting my internship (which really wasn’t supposed to start for at least another 2 months) and she was starting her first “real” job out of school. We started chatting during a break and she asked me for thoughts on things to do around the city…well, I went one better on that and gave her my number telling her I would be happy to show her around…thus started our friendship, in March of 1999. We went to Hawaii together, Italy, I visited her in Cincinnati, and will be going to see her in Idaho…we don’t talk on the phone often, e-mail some, but not as often as I would like, but no matter what, when we get together it’s like we were never apart and it’s so easy and I love that. After they left yesterday and I headed off to work, I just wanted to cry, because while it’s no different them being in Idaho than it was Kentucky where they are moving from, the time I spent just reminded me how much I miss seeing her. She is so much of what I want to be and I think that’s where the discontent is. She wasn’t happy in Minnesota, or at least not at the job she was in, so she found a new one and didn’t think anything of moving. Her and Dan are into the outdoors and wanted to move to Idaho, Oregon, or Colorado and when she found the job a few years sooner than planned, but 32 hours from their families (they were only about 7) she went ahead and went. It's so opposite of me and that brings me to my discontent…I’m jealous of that. I admire that and I want to do that…I don’t like Minnesota, I never really have. I hate cold for one thing. It’s not an area for single people (and no, I don’t want to move to meet a man, I want to move to have other single’s to hang out with and who understand my lifestyle as while some look at me funny for not wanting to be married and have kids, I look at them funny for wanting to be married and have kids, well at least the have kids part and that’s all part of the Midwest mentality). It’s not an area for those that don’t like cold yet hate running indoors…the cost of living is pretty high with not a lot to show for that either. I’d like a bigger place in a different area, but reality is I can’t afford it. I want a better climate, yet good culture, lower cost of living (or better pay) and a great area for those that aren’t attached with families…anyone know of anything?? To be honest, San Diego is where I want to be, but the cost of living isn’t a reality I don’t think unfortunately…where I’ve been thinking is Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver/Boulder, DC/Baltimore (or even south into VA, but I think those areas are probably all expensive for living), maybe Seattle (but the rain and cloudy days would get me), Raleigh/Durham is listed as a great place for singles, but I don’t know anything about it there…The big thing is finding a job though…I need more networking and people who can point me to headhunters and/or job openings…and I’d love to be someplace where I can potentially pursue my MBA and/or JD eventually…I just know I need to get out…and I’m about at the 2 year mark I set for myself when I started my job here. Honestly I like my job, I wish I could take it with me…