Setups

Well, I suppose since I opened my big mouth (well, opened word and typed thoughts) yesterday, it’s only fair if I share the story…First of all though, honestly, I don’t necessarily hate setups. Actually to me it’d be the best way to meet someone as typically my friends should know me, and if they meet someone that they think might be a match for me, I'd think they probably met someone worth meeting as it should be based on more than just that the two of us are single right? I had one set up ages and ages ago that actually was really good, unfortunately the guy was still hung up on an ex so needless to say it didn’t work out. Better timing and who knows. I will say it’s much better than meeting someone at the bar, which is how I’ve met most of the people I have been on dates with the last few years (although in my defense it has typically been a more low key bar that I’m a semi regular at and not a meat market kind of place!!), or the Internet, of which I do know that a lot of people have had much success with, in fact I know of a few weddings that have happened that way, it just hasn’t been successful for me, too many 53+ year old men, and/or creepy guys looking for just a hook up, or guys that just see what you look like and that’s it. At least at the bar they might be listening to bits about you too!! Anyway, last year I went out on a couple of dates with a guy that a friend had thought I would hit it off well with based on our personalities. I met him and he was smart and nice, but on the shy side, and very, very into TV…me, yes, I watch TV, but my life doesn’t revolve around it (although I will tape things and watch them later, but I don’t have to stay in to be able to see shows!!) and I’m out doing physical stuff as much as I can, I enjoy outdoors…so not a fit there. I suppose though, I can say I’m not one to hate setups mainly because very, very few people have ever tried to set me up…see, what does that say about me?? Not one that should be dating cause I’m not someone anyone wants to even set guys up with!! Yet another reason that I’m single!!! I’m OK with that though. That’s been my whole thing with this. I am happy with my life. I like being able to go where I want, when I want and not report to someone else. Not have expectations of someone else on me. My only thing that has sucked is not always having people to do things with. My friends aren’t always the most reliable to go out with and I don’t have anyone that I can travel with, I wish I had a few people up for travel and that could afford it, but unfortunately that’s not the case. Beyond that, I really do finally like being single more than I liked being in a couple. All that said, if on some fluke I did meet a guy that matched all that I would want and be able to deal with, yes, I would consider dating someone again, but I’m not actively looking.

Last night, we go to the place we are going to meet them, roommate and I order a beer, guys are a little late, but not a big deal. We are sitting at a round table and J, my friend’s friend sits next to me and E, the guy I was meeting sits next to my roomie and across from me. E right away goes to get popcorn (this bar has it for free) and J and I start talking, although I hadn’t fully realized that this was J, who I had met before as he had had his hair cut and just looked different from the brief meeting I had had (although talking to him I was semi thinking this was E and thought he seemed the same as J, so OK, I was at least recognizing personality as the same person!!). I finally figure out the deal and do make an attempt to chat with E, but he’s talking to my roomie anyway and J and I are having good conversation so it just maintains like that. We all ordered burgers, roomie and I had one more beer, the guys each ordered a beer (well E ordered an O’Douls as he doesn’t drink) and we chatted, some together, some separate conversations but nothing really between me and E at all specifically. J has run a number of marathons all over, just mainly for fun. He has run one in Switzerland and wants to run it again and go back there next summer. I said I’d love to go to Switzerland, I really just want to get back to Europe and would go anywhere but Switzerland is one area I’d like to go. E was talking that he and J should go, and I said I’d go, so then it was kind of the three of us, maybe roomie too, but then J did ask me if I was serious about wanting to go and he said he’d prefer going with a girl to going with E anyway…not sure what to make of that, but whatever. I’m not sure about the marathon, nothing like running a marathon at 6000 feet when you live at 0 and the second half of it is all uphill, you have 6.5 hours to complete it, but I think I could do it. J has run a 3:34 for his best and ran that one in 6…I’d figure it out…the pictures look amazing from there. I’m sure it won’t really happen but it’s a fun thought anyway. So I was finding that I had a lot in common with J. He’s also a very nice guy and while I hadn’t thought I found him attractive when I met him the first time, he is actually more attractive than I had first thought. Now this is something that isn’t going anywhere anyway though. He’s a nice guy, I’d love all of us hanging out again, but 1) from things she has said, I have a strong suspicion that my roomie does have a thing for him and even though she’s seeing someone else, might have interest in him, and 2) I know from roomie he has a thing on and off with an ex, he’s not over her and she might still be in the picture, not sure the deal. I figure while I might have felt like there might be something there, wasn’t enough to make me moon over him and knowing the situation, I’m sure it was all one sided…but it was a fun evening and we may do it again sometime. At least I’m game for it. I like hanging out with guys as friends and just chatting and having fun with no expectations. As we left, roomie mentioned how J had messed things up with how the seating went and seating can be so important, suppose roomie and I could’ve sat opposite each other and that would’ve left things open as well, but hey, whatever happens right?? I could definitely tell from many things that E and I would not be a good match anyway, just from conversation…although roomie might help him clean up and change to make him a better match for someone…but definitely not me!! Age is going to be the number one factor there, along with just general not a good fit!! Oh, also I'm thinking that roomie did have good intentions, but hadn't met him or gotten to know him well enough to know if we'd be a match other than both being single and runners...although he did have the certain qualities she thinks are important, but there does need to be a bit more, at least for me.