Sunday, February 10, 2008

Running Free

Remembering back to 2006…the year my running had a breakthrough. Without trying (I wanted to break 4 hours, that was my ultimate goal) I came within 2 minutes of qualifying for Boston. I had a lot of things going on in my life at the time. Nothing real great, and running took me away from it all…all I did was train. Running was the thing that kept me sane during that time.
Unfortunately last year was a complete flip of the coin. I lost my motivation to run, to a degree. It felt like a chore most times, and was almost never enjoyable due to my glute issue. I ran a total of 3 races, none of them marathons, longest was a 25K, and that was a bust of a run. Now I’m at a place where things are starting to feel better…finally…It’s not 100% yet. There are times when things really do bother still. BUT, and this is a big but since I haven’t been able to maintain constancy for a while now…but this week I finally managed a good week. I actually, technically, ran 6 days…in a row…One of those days was only a mile (after checking back over the day, I had not eaten enough protein and after a 30 minute bike ride had no energy for more than a mile). Friday though, I had a long run planned (it was going to be cold Saturday and Sunday), I wanted to do 11 miles…my pace, hoped to be around 9:15 or so…well, I managed 8:59…and that was with maybe a mile under some slippery conditions (I didn’t wear my yak trax because most of the roads were clear, even though we had had snow earlier in the day). Saturday I ran in the gym after a strength session, and it felt OK, but the big breakthrough of the weekend came today. I went out last night (surprise, surprise) and somehow got a little happier than planned…getting up this morning wasn’t great, I had a little bit of a bad discussion with a friend while I was drinking, thankfully that was resolved this morning, but while I wasn’t feeling good early in the day, I still opted to go to the gym (braved the cold to get there), needing to clear my head over some stuff going on and it just felt good. I think I had to have had a smile on my face for a big part of it, it felt good, and freeing…I even think I managed to run around an 8:45 pace…and it felt good. It was one of those runs where I could’ve just gone forever…had I eaten a bit more (and not been pushing it on the mileage, 33 was a bit more than I probably should’ve gone for the week, but I went with it) before it. I’m close to being back. And I know what I need to do to meet my running goal. I know the training I need to do. I have plenty of time to get geared into it. I have this goal…But I’m suddenly figuring out I have a problem too. OK, yes, I’m loving my independence, I need to the focus time, etc…and my family and a bunch of friends will all be there that day, to help celebrate the achievement or ease my disappointment (have to think both ways since there is always a chance of many things happening) but it’s such a huge goal for me, and I wish there was the possibility of someone special being there to urge me on…something I’ve never had, but really want. I did get that a little bit with L, even though he was never able to make it to a race…he was there to tell me how proud he was, even on bad days…and I wish there was that feasibility of someone being there for me this time…but like I said, it would also be a distraction that I just don’t need…I'm so messed up.


Firefly's Running said...

Sounds like you are trying to work things out

JustRun said...

I have finally concluded that everything ebbs and flows, espeically with running. Things sometimes happen all at the right times and sometimes not. It's when those things intersect that I'm not totally okay with yet. :) What I mean is, I can identify. I guess we just work through it.

Molly said...

So glad to hear that your running is going well! That is a VERY impresssive pace!
Have Fun!
Take Care