One More Day

Well, today really most likely is my last "work" day. I'm here till about 1:30/2, home for a quick nap, then maybe a quick run, then down to my sister's to meet her for the drive to my home town. My cousin graduates from high school tonight and tomorrow is her grad party and I haven't been home since Christmas, so it's probably about time I get home. My grandma's miss me.

Anyway, this week has been crazy and still no time to update the blog. I really need to get back on this! Monday I worked at B&N, Tuesday I was off and vegged and tried to get stuff done at home and then Wednesday was my last night at B&N and at 7:40 that night the power went out and didn't come back on till about 8:50, by that time it wasn't worth trying to reopen as it takes too long to get things back online, so we cleaned a bit and then were sent home around 9:40...nice. Instead of going home and to bed though, a co-worker and I went to have a beer and got sucked into a trivia game (that we kicked butt first round on, but sucked the next 3!). It was midnight before I got home which was bad because Thursday night the same co-worker and I were planning to see Pirates 3, at World's End at the 9:00 showing which we knew would end up being later. He doesn't work till late today, but I had to work early so it's a rough day so far, but oh well. The movie was quite good. I definitely enjoyed it. Lots of funny scenes and who can not want to stare at Mr. Depp for 2 1/2 hours (OK, maybe some guys don't, but come on ladies, even in dreads and messed up teeth he looks good!), as kind of a joke, my friend even brought me a belated birthday present, a Jack Sparrow pillow case (mainly cause I had talked about dressing up for the movie, glad I didn't, no one in our theater was dressed up), so now Johnny is always in my bed...nice huh? After the movie, which got out around midnight, my friend and I were chatting, I was giving him advice on a woman he is into, but the big problem no matter what though is he is moving to Florida next Friday, so why he wants to get involved I don't know, but hey, to each their own right? She supposedly wants to come visit, but he's not sure if it's as more then friends or just a friend thing...I gave him my best thoughts, not knowing her, and we did leave with hopes that we'll meet up one more time before he heads out next Friday, but if not, hopefully I'll get out to visit him.

It's kind of funny as while he's a friend, at one point I felt something more for him, and there was a brief time where, if not for mixed signals and hurt and anger and all kinds of weird stuff, we might have been more, we did go out a couple of times, but I just think the timing was never right and we both figured out it wasn't going to happen and have just managed to be good friends. It's weird how things like that can happen. I can't exactly call him an ex, but of people I have been out with and/or had feelings for in that way, I think he's the only one that's still a friend. And that I can hang out with and actually joke about our past and not think anything of it. It's going to be sad to see him leave town and not be able to hang out on occasion after work. But life changes, we move on, and I'm no longer part of B&N and after Wednesday he won't be either...well, he will be, he's transferring stores for a time at least, but you know...all the changes, cycles and what not that we go through in life. The people that come and go, the ones that stay, the ones that are remembered fondly, and not so fondly...they all make us who we are though right? All this waxing nostalgic as I'm preparing to make my next big jump, and watching my cousin make her next big jump...it's just so weird.

Life Changes

I should've done an update, or at least some insights last Thursday, but oh well. I celebrated another year of life last week. Hence, being away from updating for a bit as I was off enjoying the nice weather we had. Love being off work. And now the countdown is continuing. My official last day is set for May 29th. I have my exit interview at 11 am that day and most likely will say goodbyes to people and leave sometime around lunch that day then. It will be a sad and happy day. I'm happy to get away from some of the duties I have, but I'll be sad to be leaving the people I have worked with. I'll get more to that in a later blog.



On Wednesday I had wanted to go see a band that I like play, but unfortunately no one really was game to go, so instead I stayed in, chatted online to a few people, talked to a friend on the phone that was a little bummed he couldn't be with me on Thursday, he had said if he wasn't out of the country (trip to Ireland, although work related, he was still in Ireland so hey...) he would've taken me out and made it special in some way, but alas, he was gone but that was OK. Instead I went out for a beer, and rang in midnight, had one and then went home. On the way I found I had a voicemail from my friend, he wasn't quite in Irleand yet, so he called to wish me a happy birthday. I got home and had a slice of the cake that my boss had bought for me on Wednesday for us to all share at work, put a candle on it and made a wish for the next year of my life. Then I got off the phone with my friend and went to read a bit before going to bed when a couple of txts came in as well wishing me a happy day. I had a couple more txts when I woke up and then of course the roses. I did a few things then went for a nice 10 miler on Thursday, came home, grabbed stuff and went to my "happy place" at Lake Calhoun. My roommate joined me and we relaxed in the sun. Then I went and did a bit of shopping and found these shoes I just had to have...then I met my roommate for dinner at my favorite restaurant where I had good food and wine then we went for a drink at our hang out where another friend joined us. Just low key and nothing big.



Friday I relaxed more, had lunch with my parents and aunt and uncle, I relaxed more of the afternoon with a nap, then a group of us got together to go out. We went to some outdoor places, then found our local hangout closed due to a power outage, so we went to another place, then to watch a band play. It was a late night but fun, although I had a few weird things go on and remember, C, the bad for me guy...well, he's now totally out of the picture due to a conversation he had with my sister (found out from her one evening he had actually tried to take her home with him...and he knows she's my sister...the guy is a loser, yes, I know, I realize and it's done as he's also a child...really long story!) and then with me where I pointed out she was right to a degree and he just became and ass...but whatever. Moving on...Saturday dawned nice weather again, ended up down at Calhoun again then a nap after Dariy Queen with my roommate...Kit Kat Blizzard rocks!! Met up with a friend after a while on Saturday and went to a bar where we know the bartender and he got me feeling good with a few drinks he concocted...yummy though! I was much more tipsy on Saturday than I intended and realized I think I kind of miss the friend in Ireland so sent him a txt saying that...

Sunday I just vegged. I should've cleaned, but I really didn't...didn't do much of anything. Oh well...I work tonight, but tomorrow I will be cleaning!! I really need to!

Tattoo

A tattoo...I've only talked about getting one for about 10 years or so. In 2000 I almost got it. I watched a friend get one, I had my design with, I talked to a guy about it, only problem, I was going to Cancun in 4 days...not a good time to get a tattoo. Then I never went back. Over the time since then, the design slightly changed, so I'm glad now that I didn't do it then because, OK, yes, I'm a girl, but I didn't want a "girly" tattoo. I have wanted a dolphin, mainly because dolphins have been my favorite animal pretty much all my life. A part of me wanted to go into marine biology to work with dolphins. In 2000 I swam with them in Cancun. In 2000 I also swam with them in Hawaii. In Cancun I paid money, in Hawaii I swam offshore into a sheltered cove and had the experience of swimming with a wild spinner dolphin pod of about 30, with 2 or 3, 3 month olds with them...it was very cool. I also wanted something a bit more...I'm a Taurus and I found the Chinese symbol for Taurus is a circle with horns...so I decided a dolphin jumping through that was what I wanted. I also have an artistic side, so I wanted my design, done on my body...of course the artist was going to have the final say in coloring and all that, but I had the basic drawn up of what I wanted. Then I really got the push for it this year...I don't know why exactly but with a lot of the things that have been going on, I just wanted it, and I wanted it under the sign of Taurus, preferably on or before my birthday...but I didn't have an artist...I ended up talking to one guy and wasn't sure about him, but then I found a fantastic artist, that bless his heart, what tough guy tattoo artist wants to do yet another dolphin, but while he teased me about it, he did a very good job. My big thing was not wanting something "cartoony" which I have seen on some people. I wanted realistic looking and nice...Tony did a fantastic job...especially after I hemmed and hawed about it when I realized it was going to be bigger than I wanted...but I went with it...

The tattoo transferred onto my skin.



The Taurus symbol filled in. Originally I was thinking black for that, but he went with blues and coloring it the way it is to go for an "ocean" feel which I like much better than I would've had we gone just black.

The final result.

Immediately after it was done.

So the experience was interesting. It wasn't too bad, a few spots hurt worse than others, but for the most part it was bearable. I love the way it looks and now it only feels, as most people told me it would, like a sunburn. I didn't have any problems sleeping, and while I started thinking maybe it should've been just a little bit higher, I'm actually glad it's not because it's not being rubbed by waistbands of pants like it otherwise might have been. I had one friend come with me for it then I went to see another friend after and I told my sister and one other friend I was getting it today. Other than that, no one has seen it or knows that I have one other than my friends in blogland...and it's in an area that no one has to see it if I don't want them to, which I really like.

Change is Good?

Change is what keeps us moving forward. Change is what brings us to a new level in anything and everything we do. If we stay where we are, if we don't explore new opportunities, if we don't try new things, change will not happen and we will become stagnant. Be that in fitness, a career or anything in life. You have to push the boundaries or you won't find out what you can truly become right?

Well, I gave my notice, all went well with that, which I knew it would. My boss is great. I'm really going to miss him and I told him that. He told the other two attorney's I work with and I told my co-workers and my official last day is June 1, although I technically most likely will be done on May 25th, I'm taking vacation just to push out my benefits and such since I won't have the new ones start for 30 days from my hire date, which really isn't a big deal anyway since I have all my doctors appointments and such lined up to be done before I leave here anyway. We went to lunch for someone's birthday after I had told everyone. We sat, and we talked and we had a nice lunch and I thought "wow, I'm going to miss all this." There were discussions of the move (we are supposed to move floors in the building), upcoming events, etc, and I felt a little sad knowing I'm not going to be part of them. It was nice at lunch, it was comfortable, and when I came to that word, I realized, you know, this is why it's good I'm moving. Comfort is a nice thing. Comfort is something we need sometimes, but if you want to test yourself, you need to get out of your comfort level. It's been a long time since I've left a job that I really honestly like and enjoy and have not been really hard core looking for something else cause I hated it. I am not miserable here like some jobs in the past. I don't dread getting up and going to work (yes, I don't like getting up cause I'm tired, but that is the only reason I don't want to get up), sure some tasks are better than others, but for the most part, I have only a few complaints about things here. I love the location, I love my breakfast of eggbeaters and toast every morning, I love the people I work with, I love that one of my best friends in the world works only 3 floors above me and I can stop and say hi whenever I want (not that I do that often, but it's nice to know she's there)...but with all that comfort, it has really shown me that yes, it is time to move on. I'm not just in a job, I'm working on a career and it's time to push the boundaries. It's time for a change and that change is coming. I had an email from my soon to be boss in response to my email that I was accepting the offer. He asked if the salary was something to make me happy as he had really pushed for it...that makes me quite excited cause if he worked hard to get me something to get me there, that means if I work hard, I would imagine he'll work hard to get me raises to keep me there...he did say that the company rewards star employees...so I need to focus and become a "start employee"...this is my career after all!

So to commemorate the change, today I finally get my tattoo. I mentioned it yesterday. It's something I've wanted for a really long time. Considering I've had the design for about 2-3 years now (my art on my body) I don't know what prompted me to finally push to get it, but I found the artist, and I had a goal of having it before my birthday. The design is of a dolphin, because they are my favorite animal, I have swam with them twice, once when in Cancun and I paid for it, beautiful experience, but then in Hawaii I was able to swim from shore and just snorkel in and amongst a wild dolphin pod...it was a fantastic experience. I also am incorporating the Chinese symbol for Taurus into the design as it's my horoscope sign and I do feel it really does describe me. The artist I'm having do it specializes in wildlife art and also is an oil painter, a friend recommended him so today at 5 I will be meeting with Tony at Serious Ink and finally getting the work. My poor parents, I'm the last of their children not to have one...a friend is coming with me and I have my camera with, so I plan to post pictures tomorrow. Wish me luck. I'm a bit nervous!

Another Official Thing

I would like to inform you that I will be resigning from my position as Legal Specialist for ____________, effective May 28, 2007.

_________ has been a great place to work and I want to thank you for the opportunities for the professional and personal development that has been provided during the last two and a half years. I have enjoyed working for __________ and appreciate the support provided during my time with the company.

If I can be of any help during this transition, please let me know.
Sincerely,

Danielle

I gave a similar notice to Barnes & Noble last night. Yes, officially on May 24, 2007, I will no longer be employed by Barnes & Noble. Am I happy, yes, for the most part. A few things I might miss (like the being able to read hard cover books for free, the 50% off in the cafe and discounts on books) but for the most part, I'm so happy to be leaving as I hate giving up my free time when it's nice out. The discussion with my boss here is going to be hard, but I just officially accepted the position and faxed over my letter. There is the little detail of my going for the drug test, but that has no concerns for me. I'm scared but excited to be moving ahead in my career. This move I know is going to be a good one, and it's not just because of the money. It's a smaller company, more opportunity and less tied to structure that some places have. I know I have to treat it like they would treat me if the situation was reversed. I mean if there was a situation where it was better for them to not have me, there wouldn't be second thoughts about terminating me. We all have to look out for ourselves as much as possible and do what is going to be the most benefit to us and trying not to hurt others along the way right?

This is going to be a really big week though. Last night I quit B&N, today I quit my "real" job, tomorrow I'm getting a tattoo and later this week I'm turning old...wow...I don't know how I can handle all the change! (I always thought I was good with change, but maybe it's only with certain levels of change)

Results are in...

And it is good!

So, officially I'm giving notice at B&N during my shift on Sunday. I'm hoping the next schedule isn't up before then as I want to tell them I will just work out the schedule that is up and that will be it. I haven't asked for it off yet, but I need Friday and Saturday of Memorial weekend off for a cousin's graduation party anway. My thought is if you can't have schedules up with more advance notice, then too bad...I guess that would be kind of burning bridges, but some of the treatment I have been given there, I just don't feel like it's worth it anyway. I might go see if I can find a job at one of the running stores a few hours a month though, just for fun.

Anyway, I spent all Wednesday night feeling anxious, waiting for Thursday and the call. I went and saw a movie with my roommate and then had a bite to eat, then tried to go home and sleep...it wasn't happening. I was at work till about noon, but I had a mattress being delivered and I had to go home to meet them and decided to take the afternoon off as well. I went down to Calhoun and tried to relax, but just had that anxious feeling all day. Around 3 my recruiter called and asked if I had heard anything yet and I told her my freak out, but she assured me an offer was coming. Then I went and bought some flowers to plant in my planters, stopped and bought a bottle of wine for my mom for mother's day and then finally on my way home I had the call...and when she told me the offer they were making me, I had to repeat it myself and have her repeat so I knew I was hearing right. There is an overnight package coming today or tomorrow for me to look over benefits and everything and I asked to have till Monday, but I honestly don't need that. I'm trying to negotiate a little more vacation time, but beyond that, even if they say no, I wouldn't turn it down. The offer is just too good. For one, I would actually be in a position with more clout/power. I won't be requested to bring files to people, to deal with all kinds of things that are tedious and something I wouldn't even need the college education for. There is a chance for some travel to other offices to give some training to people on things. And there are offices in cool places (Shanghai, UK). The company is smaller, but owned by a larger company trying to grow them. My hours are going to be going back to what I liked (the early leave time of 4 or so) and the commute is no further than where I currently am, although can be worse if weather conditions are bad cause not as many backroads (but I can learn the few that are there). There aren't as many things around for running errands and one of my best friends doesn't work there, and I do really like my current boss and hate leaving him, but still...the offer...and the options...too good to pass up. When I had my thought of what they would offer, and that would be enough to quit B&N easily, that was good. I thought a little above that would be nice, then I thought, wow, this figure would be awesome (this was Wednesday before trying to sleep) and then they came back above the last figure...can't really pass that up can I? Not when all other things are coming back higher too.

OK, now the big tricky part. Quitting B&N will not be a big deal to me. But quitting my real job, that's going to be hard. I'm giving notice on Monday, as soon as I sign and fax the acceptance offer...but how do I do that...I feel bad about it. I know, I know, I shouldn't...but I do...

The Smells of Spring

I’m lucky in that I don’t have allergies this time of year (unless some are developing which would really tick me off) as I just love this time of year…it’s great to be out walking, running, windows down, sitting, whatever, because it smells to beautiful. The lilac bushes are blooming, all the flowering trees are in full bloom and things just smell like spring. Just last night I went on a gorgeous run (well the run itself was kind of ugly as I was just exhausted feeling and my body didn’t want to move that well, but it was gorgeous weatherwise). It was low 70s, sunny, no wind and everywhere I ran I could smell something nice. The beautiful flowering trees in some of the neighborhoods, or the fresh cut grass as I walked past and saw one of the first lawns in the process of being mowed. It’s that time of year…and I love it. Have I ever mentioned what my favorite season is?? Spring has everything else beat. It’s a time of rebirth. The buds growing into leaves, flowers peeking out (I have to get a picture of a yard with all kinds of tulips in it that just looks beautiful), the sun coming out and warming things. More people out waking, running, biking, just enjoying. People are friendlier this time of year too. Sure as we get into the heat of summer, people don’t like that and get cranky, but in spring, when it’s not so terribly hot, everyone is happy, commenting about the nice weather, they are out, so you can actually see that you don’t live in a lonely world of just cars, you actually see others people, you can communicate with them if you choose to, and they might even communicate back. Everything that is good to me, comes in spring and it’s not just because I was born in this season. It’s just that time of year. When you first start to shed the winter clothes, when you get to start sleeping with the windows open, when the first thunderstorms start sweeping through (we even had power go out for a bit last night, that was fun, particularly at bedtime!). You just can’t beat spring in my mind. I am always so much happier, hopeful and ready to take on the world…probably some of the reasons for some of the decisions I’ve been making lately.

Wow, OK, and just on a side note...something I've been going to blog about...but have been holding in, has apparently just happened. I won't know full details till tomorrow, but I have interviewed for and sounds like I am going to be receiving a job offer tomorrow. Well, I know I will be getting the offer. The recruiter I am working with just gave me the news that the company plans to call me direct, most likely tomorrow morning, with an offer that they are in the process of putting together now. The pay range that was told to them that I am looking for, is going to be a nice jump from what I'm currently at, the benefits look similar, although vacation time I might want to see if they can't do something with (I'm about to be at 3 weeks and they only have 2 for the first 5 years...), the industry isn't as exciting, and there are pluses and minuses...things I'd miss, and things I'll be glad to get rid of...wow...blogworld is the first to know this. So far only my roommate and two other friends know that I was even interviewing. I suppose I'll need to call mom and dad quick tonight and give them a heads up.

My ABC's

OK, I haven't had time to do any updates for the weekend (nor on a lot of things for that matter) but here is a bit about me...

A- Attached or Single? Single – and love it!
B- Best Friend: Probably Leesa…her and I just get each other, but I have a few others that are close
C- Cake or Pie: Cake, particularly chocolate with white frosting from Byerly’s, or Cold Stone Ice Cream cake
D- Drink of Choice: Pineapple daiquiris (the ones I make!), raspberry stoli and 7 up
E- Essential Item: Running shoes? OK, it has come to the point where I feel freaked out without my cell phone
F- Favorite Color: Emerald Green
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? I think I like the neon worms the best
H- Hometown: Heron Lake, MN
I- Indulgence: Cold Stone after a nice long run…
J- January or February: February, if I have to pick one, it's short and closer to spring
K- Kids: None and don’t really plan to have any
L- Life is incomplete without: Chocolate? Probably my friends and family and the ability to run
M- Marriage Date: No plans for it…no way…tied down…one person…yikes!
N- Number of Siblings: Oldest of 3, younger sister and brother
O- Oranges or Apples? Oranges, unless it’s Courtland Apples
P- Phobias/Fears: Anything creepy crawly, snakes if they surprise me
Q- Favorite Quote: “Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be” and “There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down / until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” George Sheehan
R- Reasons to smile: Warm spring days, a good run, the smell of spring in the air, friends, family, vacation, beaches, the ocean…
S- Season: Spring, end of story, there is no other season as far as I’m concerned….flowers, warm days (but not too warm), light rainy days great running weather…and only more warm to come
T- Tag Three: Anyone who wants to
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I’m kind of an open book…I had to get 7 stiches on Mother's day after my cousin hit me in the head with a croquet mallet (OK, yes I realize I'm leaving things open there!) and the stiches were removed on my birthday, a week later....
V-Vegetarian or Not: No way, no how…I’m a good midwestern meat and potatoes girl
W- Worst Habit: Worrying too much about what others think
X – X-rays or Ultrasounds? Depends on what it’s for!
Y- Your Favorite Foods: Pizza, Vescio’s baked rigatoni, ice cream, cake
Z- Zodiac: Taurus

Official Results

I should've waited!

Overall Place: 262/1390
Age Group: 9/130
Female: 40/693
Official Time: 6:19

TC 1 Mile

Why did I ever think a 1 mile race would be fun?? I apparently forgot in the 15 years (wow, has it really been that long?) since I graduated from high school about that pain that is the 1 mile that I used to run (well, OK 1600) at least twice a week during high school.

Anyway, this is the kick off race for the registration for Twin Cities Marathon. If you go down that evening, you are guaranteed entry into the marathon (registration officially opened today) and you can run a 1 mile race. There were different divisions, mass run, then age groups 50-59, 40-49, 30-39 and 29 and under and then a Championship women's (where I think you had to run at least a 5:20) and a Championship men's (where I think you had to run at least a 4:30). The weather was a bit windy, but not too bad and upper 60s/low 70s and by the time we ran it wasn't bad. Kind of like a track night in fact.

My roommate and I went down to get race packet and then just hung out for a while before I had to warm up. I was doing the age group (so glad I did that as it was much less crowded) which was supposed to start around 7:25, so at 6:45 I couldn't wait anymore and did a 10 minute run to warm up and did some stretching. After the mass start went, I decided it was time to head up to the start chute and my roommate came with and headed down to the finish where she was going to watch. I did a few strides at the start chute area to keep warm and found my hamstring and IT band are still aching a bit when I try to stride out and run fast, this has been a problem for a while and I need it worked out before I do any real speed work. Originally when I had planned to run this race, I had high hopes of heavy training and getting a fast time, well, no speed work, tight leg and let's see, yeah, I ran 45 miles last week and was at 27 before the warm up and run last night (now I'm at 30 with warm up, race and a bit of cool down), including a 6 mile run during lunch yesterday (OK, so I forgot to taper). Anyway, wasn't sure what I could do, but I thought for sure a sub 7:00 mile would be doable and maybe even getting to a 6:30 or so, I ran the first mile of my 5K in a 6:38 back in March, so figured a 1 mile I should at least be able to do that. McMillian's predicted a 6:21 so figured I'd see.

Start happened a bit late, and at the first quarter I'm assuming they were calling off splits and I think I was around 1:30, and I remembered, oh yeah, this race hurts worse than that darn 5K! I remembered the feeling of the mile though, even though I wasn't running 4 laps around a track, but I remembered it, the focus and feeling of nothing being around me but what was right in front of me, the saying in my head "why did I think this would be fun, why am I running this?", over and over, all remeberances of track. Half point was a 3:10. Then it was just straight shot down Nicollet Mall in Minneapolis to the finish. I was running in a pack with one girl around me and a bunch of guys...I saw Brit's Pub which I knew was about 2 blocks from the finish, a block later was The Local, the bar I had figured was the point to really bear down, the girl in front of me I had kind of tried to catch but didn't feel I had it in me, but right at The Local I was able to see the finish line just over a block ahead too and I remembered my kick and how much fun it is to really fly...so I pushed everything I had and passed her and a few others and hit the mats in about 6:19/6:20. No official results yet but right after crossing, I saw IE and first thing I said was "this was not fun, why did I think this would be fun?" I got my chip removed, got out of the chute, grabbed a water and we headed to the car so she could get her coat and then went for a beer at both The Local and Brit's (not a good idea on an empty stomach, they hit FAST!).

Typically, in track, the first meet or two I would have in the 6:10-6:20 range and improve my time over the season...so...I might have a faster in me. Consider my PR was a 5:40 probably when I was 15, 18 years later (oh my, am I really THAT old??) I was only 40 seconds of my PR without any speedwork...hmm...

Another Quick Update - 1 Mile?

OK, so tonight is the Twin Cities Marathon kick off signup. I'm registered for the 1 mile and was supposed to work, but alas, I had a migrane/nausea or something, but somehow I managed to overcome it and am feeling better...but since I'm off the schedule...

Anyway, I haen't run a 1 mile race since high school...OK, maybe even junior high since everything was 1600 for the most part. I haven't trained for it, other than running lots and lots of miles. NO speedwork all year so far as my hamstring/IT band area yelps at me when I try to run harder, so I have no idea what to expect, but it's a nice day, my roommate is coming with and we'll go for a drink/food or something after at one of the outdoor areas in downtown...all is good. Will try to get a better update and more about the race and maybe some pictures tomorrow.

Quickie

OK, I know I owe a much bigger update, but yes, I'm still here, still alive and kicking, just haven't had the time to update or say much lately. Cold seems to almost be gone, but regardless of it being there or not, I managed 45 miles last week. Didn't get the longer run on Saturday I wanted (15 miles) cause I didn't get going early enough, but oh well. I was trying to get my new MP3 going since the old one is causing issues again and it just suddenly was late. But I did 10 miles at an 8:34 pace so not bad. That was over some hills too. It was feeling a little hard, my legs were a bit tired, but overall it wasn't bad. I had a 1 mile race I was supposed to be doing on Thursday too, and forgot to take off at B&N so not sure I'm doing it now (if I do, I have to call in sick or get someone to work for me) but we'll see. I want to at least try to pick up the shirt, it's a coolmax and I paid the entry fee darnit!

Weekend was beautiful weatherwise and I managed to get a nice little burn on Saturday afternoon...no worries though, it should turn tan rather soon.

Hmm...beyond that...what else...nothing I can update quickly I guess, but I will try to get something else up soon.

Savannah Girls Week

Savannah was a really nice trip. We had some issues getting there (FYI Northwest SUCKS!!) OK, that said, we’ll get on to the nice. We were supposed to get to Savannah by noonish on Saturday, we didn’t get there till 5:30, our luggage didn’t get there till 1:30 pm on Sunday but that’s again, another story…we got to our hotel, relaxed a little bit, went to a mall nearby to purchase a few things so we could shower and while I didn’t have my contacts with me, and no makeup or anything, we still opted to go out. And we had quite a nice time down on River Street, right on the River in Savannah. Just an FYI, if you ever hit Wet Willie’s there, the Call a Cab is good, but you will be doing just that after drinking one, especially if the nice bouncer buys you a jello shot as well! (OK, so we had a few others before that, but who’s counting??).

Sunday we were waiting on our luggage, which again, didn’t show up till later, but after some recovery was done (I was fine, two others were not) we went into town, got a bite to eat, had a call that our luggage had arrived and Perry, the nice front desk clerk at our hotel, La Quinta Inn Midtown, which I would highly recommend for excellent service, decent rooms, moderate price and a GREAT breakfast (and it’s on the city bus route into downtown…there in 15 minutes and only $1, cabs ran about $16 with tip), then we wandered around Savannah. The weather was cool and we just hung out a bit. Later we went back to the hotel, napped, cleaned up and put on clean clothes and then went back down for dinner and drinks. We ended up at a bar called Bernie’s, where I got to know the bartender as well as all of us talked to a nice young (23) southern gentleman who offered us ideas for best day to go to the beach and even gave us a ride to our hotel as it was right on his way home. He then agreed to drive us to the beach as we told him we would buy lunch and pay for gas. This was too late of a night for mom, but oh well.

Monday we went on a trolley tour of the city and had an excellent guide. We did some shopping, wandered a bit and then ended up deciding to go on our haunted tour that evening. Timingwise it worked to go on the Haunted Pub tour and we had drinks on the tour and in taking some pictures, I had a few “orbs” show up in them…are they really ghostly forms? Who knows, but it’s kind of cool and a bit unexplainable.

Tuesday our ventures took us to Tybee Island which was very fun. Our tour guide took us to Tybee Beach where there is a pier and then to north beach where we ate a nice meal and went flying a kite on a beach and watched some big ships go in and out of the area. Later that evening we had a nice dinner (mom, sis and I) and then just vegged at the hotel and had an early evening so we’d be rested for our last day.

Wednesday was our last day in Savannah and we wandered around and shopped. That evening we went out on the town, talked with my bartender from the night before, had our tour guide out again, and met a few new people at some other bars as well. We were out till 3, slept till 6 and were up for our flight to the airport in plenty of time and no problems getting home (why is that?). I got home, took a nice nap and tried to recovery from the cold I had developed prior to leaving. I didn’t run on Thursday due to the cold and came into work late on Friday as I needed to rest and hope it would go away. It’s still here…oh well.

That was the trip and it was just the right amount of time I think and we managed to only get a little irritated with each other (mostly my sister and I, I don’t think anyone got mad at mom, although I swear she was taking my sister’s side on things mostly). Ah well…what do you do?

I'm Back

But no time to really update now, hopefully at some point this weekend. But in the meantime here are a couple of picks of our "girls weekend" it was a fun time and only minimal disagreements!

The Girls...60 years young...

Pier and Ocean at Tybee Island

Savannah sunset last night there

Friday the 13th

And it's celebration time! OK, I had another post I started yesterday and never finished, maybe I'll get to it today too, along with some other emails I need to respond to. I am, after all, practially on vacation!! Tomorrow I leave with my mom and sister for a 5 day girls excursion in honor of my mom's 60th birthday which happened last month. We are traveling to the old south and are all quite excited. I know I won't be on the computer for the next few days, so I'm sure will have a stockpile of email for my return next Thursday but that's OK. I always love email, makes me feel loved!

This vacation is coming right at a time when I SOOOO need it. It'll be good to get out of town, clear my head, do some bonding with my family and thinking about other things without having my thoughts and judgement clouded and possibilities of doing stupid things. Namely going places to try to see people that I shouldn't!! Ah yes, and the weather is going to be 70s and 80s...I'm so excited!

I'll hopefully have lots of pictures to post when I get back. And hopefully the three of us don't manage to kill each other! I'm looking forward to some good fresh shrimp, and maybe some mahi mahi (the only seafoods I really care for).

MEMO to God...It's April

All taken on the way into work this morning. And it's still coming down fairly good.

The Weekend in Recap

So much to do at work but so lacking the motivation so here is an update.

Friday we were lucky enough to get to leave work early. I found this out right after my workout, I had done 5 on the treadmill because it’s too freaking cold to go outside (yes, it is April, but it was so cold and windy I just couldn’t tolerate it) I got back to my desk around 1:30 and we got to leave at 2…that was awesome. Gave me time to stop at Super Target on the way home and get the few things I needed for my dessert for Easter dinner and then head home for nap, which I did manage. I got up about 2 hours later and checked email and the friend I was unsure about was coming with, she tried to call me too however and left a message that she was up for going for a little while, but not necessarily late. OK, well, whatever she was coming out. Made plans to meet up a bit early so we could go to a place she would find a drink she liked and still get to the regular place by happy hour. Well, the place we were going isn’t the place any of us likes for a hang out, but they have her drink…personally I think she’s too fussy as she likes margaritas, OK, fine, but they can make them anywhere as she wasn’t getting them blended at the bar we were at and if she asks the bartender at the other place he will make drinks the way she wants them, I think she just kind of needs something to complain about and after the antics this weekend, I'm not going to be too anxious to go out with her again.

So anyway, there was a really, really cute waiter I was staring at and I got a bit of a buzz before we went to where I might see C…so I guess the early stop was fine. We got there, my dive, my local hangout, my Cheers, and had a shot right away. No idea why…but oh well. The evening progressed and I was talking to a guy I had met earlier in the week and another guy, then ran into someone else that I knew but hadn’t seen in a long time, he didn’t remember me but I know people he knows and reminded him where I knew him from...later he was hitting on my roomie and she was not appreciating his come on lines…mainly talking about how much money he makes, what kind of car he drives, etc. She wasn’t impressed. She did like another guy that we had been talking with though, and got his number and has chatted with him a bit. She has some things going on, he has some things going on, so neither are really probably right for much, but a friendship is cool. So the reason was upset with the one friend...we were going to go for pizza after the bar, it sounded so good and there is a place open late, there was someone else that was going to come with us too…a new potential crush of mine if you will, and my friend wasn’t game. She was absolutely insistent that she was going home and was not going for pizza…ummm…yeah…OK, you aren’t driving, isn’t it friend rule/etiquette to help another friend out with a guy and if that means staying out a little longer when you can SLEEP IN THE NEXT DAY ANYWAY and don’t have plans to do anything but watch movies at home on Saturday night anyway. Sigh…we were going to come back and have pizza anyway and told him to ride along but last minute he turned off to go home (he lives around the corner, oh and no, I don't have a thing for Leo DiCaprio, BUT the crush kind of resembles him in this movie...kind of strange, I've never been attracted to Leo but found him sexy in The Departed and then meet a guy that looks like him...) and said he’d see me around at "the place"…he did give me a hug, but he didn’t ask for my number, he didn’t ask me for an actual meet up time and place…a guy friend suggested it's hard to know when to ask and not be pushy, etc and another friend suggested he might be shy...guess we'll see. Darn friends that won't heed etiquette...thing is, roomie wasn't drinking and has less sleep, weird hours and what not and had had the bad man experience as well, but SHE was still fine to go. My roomie is awesome. She's also a good friend and she was trying to get to know the interest as well, feel out what he was like, but the other friend was down at the other end of the bar talking to people she apparently knew, but wasn't even trying to talk to any of us (I had made trips back and forth to talk to the groups I knew)...she has her very set, I need to be talking to a guy I'm interested in (even though I've been known to chat with her and whatever guy she was interested in) or I don't want to be out kind of mindset and it gets annoying. OK, so maybe I was being rude toward the end only talking to the interest, but it wasn't my WHOLE night (and I've never taken off on her to go to a guys house).

Saturday I got up feeling fine but a bit tired and wanted to run. It was 16. That didn’t include the windchill. April sucks. I opted out of the run and was going to go later, but roomie and I went for food then a bit of shopping and finally home for naps. I ended up sleeping about 3 hours. Off and on. I haven’t slept good in so long I really need to catch up anyway so I did that and then got stuff ready for Sunday and then had to work at 6:30. Ended up meeting a friend out for a snack after (he had beer, I drop and ate) and then home to bed late again. And again no real great sleep. Up Sunday, got a quick light run (had a really good start to the week with 25 miles in by Thursday and then only got another 9 after that) and then to my sister’s for dinner and then to B&N to work. So annoying. I realized I 1) can’t work there two days in a row and 2) can’t work 8 days in a row, and by the time Saturday comes and I have a day off again, it will be 14 days in a row that I’ve worked and not had a day off. I need at least one full day to do what I want or I just freak out. I was in a great mood on Saturday night, have been managing to fake it at least and give off good vibe while working, well, that doesn’t work two days in a row…sigh…After work on Sunday roomie and I went to see her new friend as he was working (he's a bartender at a bar near our house) and had a bite to eat.

My eating was awful too. I’m up about 2 pounds from where I have been…and I’m going on vacation and might need to wear a swim suit while gone on Saturday. Sigh…hopefully I can run off this crap and not eat for the next 5 days and be back down at least the 2 pounds, and maybe more solidly the 3 that I thought I had lost. But I am meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow, have to be careful on what I order…the rest of the week I should be able to be good though - OK, this was written yesterday, thankfully after a double day (7 at lunch and 10 after work) I am back down to reasonable places. I'm hoping for another 7 at lunch today and another double tomorrow and possibly Friday before I'm out of town for so long!

Random Friday Thoughts

It’s Friday…so happy about that. This week has just been dragging. I finally slept a little last night, but it was partly beer induced, but oh well. Sometimes you do what you have to. I tried a nap after work yesterday, before hectic times set in, but that just wasn’t happening. What did end up happening was my roommate and I went to meet up with one friend that was going to a happy hour and invited me. Unfortunately he wasn’t there and we were in a rush needing to get to the next meeting so never got to see him, but did get into and check out a new bar that has an interesting mix of people for people watching. It’s in an upscale bar in an upscale building and had kind of the people you are entertained to watch. Power men in suits and/or dressy work clothes and the women all dressed to try to pick themselves up a rich husband (or at least sugar daddy)…quite entertaining really. After this we went to another bar to meet up with a guy that I’ve been supposed to meet for some time now. He is someone I met in one of my brief times online, when I thought I wanted to date. Met him just before I turned off my profile and decided I was happy with life as it was and I’d date again when and if a great guy came along on a fluke…well, we’ve been talking off and on for the last year and finally he was really pushing for a meeting, which I backed out of once and then felt bad because he was then calling even more and trying to get together…so I finally agreed this week, but brought my roommate along as a kind of buffer…see, while he has seemed nice, there just is something lacking, roommate thinks its self-confidence on his part, which could be the case, it’s either that are just one of those, no connection things. Part of my wanting someone with is because while on the phone with him (we’ve been talking for over a year) I’ve either had to really carry the conversation or there is a lot of silence…so with her along, it wasn’t bad…but just wasn’t there. As I knew it probably wouldn’t be. I wish him well, but don’t plan to see him again. Thought maybe roommate would like him but she won’t date a guy younger than her and she’s 32 and he’s only 30…hopefully he finds someone good.

Tonight I’m supposed to hopefully be seeing a friend that I haven’t seen in quite some time. It all depends on what kind of mood she is in though. We made plans last week, I tried to confirm on Wednesday and she said she’d nap and see. If she’s not in a good mood, no point in going out as it’s just not fun, but I’m hoping she will come. We are just going to my local place of course, but so far roomie and I are going, we’ll see others there (the big test for me will be if C is there and see how I react, I’m hoping no reaction as that will be the best for me, show me it’s over and done, part of me hopes he doesn’t show up there though as then next week I won’t be out and by the next time I could see him, I should be all done with him!), some friends are meeting us when they get done with work and I want to have fun. My roomie is going through some rough times and I want to get her out and have her have some fun. Tonight we are starting lessons in flirting…she knows how, but is rusty after long relationships, not of the good variety, so we’ll see what happens.

I also had the good, uplifting thing of having an e-mail conversation actually go well!! Yes, I’ve had past discussions with friends that escalated into a fight that lost friendships. There was something going on with one of my friends that hurt, but also made me take some looks and try to find reason, at the same time I was trying to show her these are things of the past and obviously not tried and true set in stone things, no matter how hard I try and the armor I put up anyway. She’s had some bad times and both her and I are trying to make changes for the better and instead of losing a friendship, we might have made it stronger as both of us are working on things to make ourselves better. We are making plans for a fun summer and hopefully in those times, we end up finding her someone great as she really does deserve some good date karma after he last situation with the loser boy sperm donor that was her husband. He gave her a son she loves, but unfortunately scars too that are trying to heal and I wish for her great things because she does deserve a good turn. Single parenthood isn’t easy and she does really want more children and hopefully she can find someone great to help her with that!!

Finally, isn’t it interesting how differently people can perceive a situation? I have been on a quest to improve myself, as I stated above. Trying to change my karma and make more positive impacts and feelings on my life, looking at the good in myself and others around me and working to keep good and positive and lose the negative. Well, I sent out a few apology e-mails to some I feel I have wronged, even if unintentionally, and one I thought was a good thing until he came back at me talking about how I treated him so poorly and he hadn’t deserved it, this was after he accepted my apology…now isn’t part of accepting an apology then to let it go? So that one didn’t come out so well, as I heard all kinds of accusations then about the person he perceives me to be (he knew me a total of about 3 months and talked to/saw me a handful of times in that time and most times he was totally wasted, great time to make some real assessments about someone right?) and how I should better myself and not sink to all this crap, well, he’s the one that was putting it on me…I guess sometimes your best intentions aren’t always the best. In the meantime I’m still on my quest. I really want to start random acts of kindness…I need to find things to do though. Earlier this week I sent a virtual bouquet of yellow daisies and said simply “I love you” to my mom. Dad isn’t on email so I can’t send something like that to him…but I suppose I could send him a random card…or just call him…anyway, I’ll find some things to do.

Note to Spring, it is April, yes, this is MN, but enough of this 30s and lower weather and snow, you need to warm up and let us have our nice weather, winter will be back soon enough, Fight!!! I've included my spring "feeling" pics just to warm things up. A couple are from Boston two years ago when I was out for the marathon.

Tired...Oh So Tired...

I think today is a wash. I have no motivation and I can’t seem to focus. It could be the lack of sleep over the last few days…week…whatever I suppose!! Last Friday I couldn’t sleep, dreams and such, fight with friend, C, everything…got up and went through the day. Saturday night crashed at a friends, pretty much slept there, but I had had a few drinks so it wasn’t a refreshing sleep. Sunday night, I took a nap in the afternoon and then that evening went to work and came home, tired, COULD NOT SLEEP. Went to bed at 10 or so, was still awake after midnight. Monday, more of the same. Tuesday I went out, got home around midnight and was not asleep except dozing but still awake around 1. Last night, went out till a little after midnight, did eventually get to sleep (had intended on a nap after work, that only last about 30 minutes if that) and slept OK, but not enough. Tonight I’m heading home right after work for a nap. I’m hoping an hour, then I have to get up, get ready and meet a friend for a drink and/or food or something. I’m not really feeling up to it, but we’ll see what happens. I had another friend call and suggest meeting him and others for happy hour as he hadn’t talked to me in a while, he was hoping I wasn’t mad at him, that he hadn’t been reading emails etc, really…well, the phone works both ways. I wasn’t mad, I just hadn’t found time to call him and he hadn’t called me. I might try to meet up with him after meeting up with the other friend, depends on a few things, like if my roommate comes with me, how tired I am, where other friend is once I’m done with first friend (unless of course I end up meeting up with the happy hour group BEFORE going to meet the other friend as there would be time, but THAT depends on the nap, if it happens and how long it goes). I probably shouldn’t nap. Ah well. On the C front though, it might be getting better. I was out with girlfriends last night, having fun and talked to a few people and one kind of intrigued me, except he smokes and that’s too bad because other than that, he seemed cool…anyway, I figure if I’m feeling a bit of interest/intrigue over another guy, C must not be as deeply entrenched as I thought…Oh, and the friend that I had the fight with…she has sent me a couple of emails this week…just dealing with the weather. What a load of crap.

Runningwise is good. I haven’t posted last weeks yet and it was only 32 miles, not great, but this week so far I’m at 25 miles and that doesn’t include anything for the weekend in which I hope to get at least an 18 if not a 20 miler in, we’ll see though. My work schedule doesn’t look good for that. I ran a 10 miler after work on Monday though, it was kind of slow, but the cold has returned and I’m running about the same paces as I had been in the cold with all the clothes on (we freaking got snow on Tuesday, yes, 81 degrees last Monday and on Tuesday, a week later, we have snow, gotta love MN right?). I haven’t run today and it looks like today is going to be a wash just because I’m so tired. Instead of running at lunch, didn’t want to use the tmill and I so didn’t want to go out in the cold (sick of it) I went with a friend to Subway which I then ate at my desk while in a stupor. I find it interesting though that the food that gets me by most days isn’t enough on days when I’m extremely tired or hung over. Wonder why that is. Tired to me feels about the same as a night I went out drank enough for a buzz and feel tired but a bit crappy the next day. I find this strange. If I get a good nights sleep, I’m not nearly as hungry…

Lustful, Like Thing, or How do you Get Someone Bad out of Your Head?

Since it was asked about…I did not run into C last weekend…there was something that happened though that was upsetting and I’m realizing more that I do need to get over this thing. Full story?? C is someone I’ve known for a few years, first met him about 3 years ago when a friend of mine was separated and we started hanging out regularly at what is now my “spot”, my Cheers if you will. He was the friend of a friend there (actually went to junior high with another friend there so it’s a long intertwined story) and he was out with some buddies having just found out his wife was cheating. My friend’s husband was cheating as well and her and C were going to be “divorce buddies”…at least that is the term they used. Yeah, fun huh? Anyway, even though C caught his wife in the act, in their home, in their bed, he ended up opting out of divorce and stayed with her.

I first ran into him again last June, right before my marathon and he told me he was separated and getting divorced. Good for him, it was about time. No idea why he stayed as long as he had. His soon to ex was still calling him often, wanting to work things out even though she was in Denmark with her boyfriend…umm…yeah, that shows wanting to work things out right? Anyway, while C is attractive, I had no interest in getting involved in that can of worms. But I did watch someone else start to make a move on him, and enjoyed teasing him about it later...

Ran into him again sometime in November and went with him and a few others to a party…had fun, no big deal. Ran into him again a few weeks later and took him to a party, he drove me home (was not capable of driving and had no car anyway!) and again, thought nothing of anything. A few weeks later I see him again and he tells me how he had tried to get my number the next day as he hadn’t gotten it that night when I saw him. No idea why he wanted it, but I gave him to him this night. Whatever. Things keep progressing, he makes mention of seeing a movie (but never calls and follows through on actually doing that) we continue to see each other on occasion at my “place”…eventually he does come over for a movie one night. This was the end of December, right when he had filed for divorce which was final end of January. The night he filed, he was drunk and wanted to stay at my place, my parents were there, he was aware and I said fine, he stayed, met my parents, etc…he next sees me telling me how while the situation wasn’t great (we were sharing a twin mattress to sleep on!) it was cool meeting my parents. Another time he had been asking me about my running and said he was thinking about starting running. All things that you typically do when you are into someone and trying to get to know them and maybe find something more right? Not the kind of work you put in if all you're looking for is that "one thing". And all this time I’m thinking no, he’s bad, he’s not ready for anything (of course he also thought I was not ready for anything as I’m kind of anti-relationship most days!) but something wasn’t telling some part of me that…so I start getting interested.

I wasn’t aware, but the interest was growing. Eventually it all came to a head where I told him I wasn’t going to be able to deal with where he wanted things to go (take a guess) without there being something more. That I was tired of men coming after me just because they think they can have something from me (which is not the case) and that I’d be hurt if I saw him picking up other women while things were going on with us. He told me he couldn’t promise me I wasn’t a rebound thing and that was that. Oh, this had started when I told him how bad he was for me. The next week I see him and he is talking to another girl…and she’s not even cute…I let things go, he’s not mine after all, and that’s that. The next week he’s txting me a message about having been out “jogging” that week. A week later he’s asking about my house sale…in my mind, why do these things? Isn’t that just more indication that you are trying to get more from that person?

Anyway, it all culminated in a chat again, where he finally says, no, he’s not ready for a relationship (duh, the night he started talking to the other girl he’s telling me how his ex is still txting him and how she calls him and he still has feelings for her). After this chat, he is seen by me the next week, really drunk, talking to this other girl again. When I see him a few days later he’s telling me how he thinks she likes him…well…yeah…she does. That’s obvious, he can be quite charming if he wants to be and he turned on the charm for her. He’s telling me how she’s not even cute (which no, she’s not, and while I’m not high on myself, I know I’m cuter than her at least, she’s 35 and looks about 45, seems nice, but definitely not cute, but he says she’s interesting to talk to, they have stuff in common and honestly, I think he thinks I’m a dumb blonde…it’s frustrating and annoying that’s how most men seem to see me) and yadda, yadda…Well, none of this helps me though. Last Friday something snapped in me and I broke down over it, at the bar, in front of supposedly my best friend…she doesn’t know exactly the culmination of it all as she hasn’t been in the picture much due somewhat to work and a lot to boyfriend…anyway, she tells me I’m 32, I should’ve known better there were red flags etc…why did I like him…OK, all I wanted was a shoulder to cry on and some sympathy (as many of the girls in the bathroom were offering!) and this is being yelled at me from someone that I thought I could trust and would show compassion. It’s not like I’ve been crying to her for weeks about it…this was a first time, one time only thing. Yes, I realize I’m dumb for having started to like this guy, but I can’t help now what I feel and while I’m trying to get over it, it’s not easy. When you feel chemistry with someone in a way you haven’t felt for anyone in a really, really long time, it’s hard, and it hurts. Especially knowing that things might have been really great had timing not been so bad. Even when everything about him is not necessarily what you would’ve looked for or wanted, baggage that you always say you want to stay away from, but somehow, with this person, it’s not so bad because there are enough other things…how do you start to even get past all that?