Sunday, January 07, 2007
New Year, New Job?
A realization I came to tonight. I have to find a new job. My boss told me on Friday that we have a meeting on Tuesday where we are going to be told that the new attorney that started is going to take over as the person we report to. He started a month ago. I like him so far, at least what I've dealt with him, but I just see this is the final nail in making me stay till 4:30 all the time now. No chance of my hours going back to 7:30-4 like I have been waiting and hoping for, and it's something that just finally killed my morale. I figured this out when I was on the phone with a friend tonight talking about my job. I'm bored with the job. There is no challenge, no chance for anything but peon work, still getting to haul files up and down to and from people, a co-worker actually referenced our other paralegal, who has been there 4 months, as senior paralegal, I'm sorry, I've been there 2 years...shouldn't I be more senior? And this was semi because of the person she was talking to I think, but it still bothered me. I still haven't blogged my gripes about the legal conference in September, but will get to that another time...thing is, there isn't a lot of room for satisfaction in this position. I have so much crap work I'm dealing with all the time these days and no time to get to doing the things I actually do semi enjoy and that are actually real work vs the processing documents over and over for signature in a mundane fashion that just irriates me...Also, I can expect, if I'm lucky, a 3% raise in March and no chance for any kind of promotion and bigger raise, so even knowing this, getting the hours that I wanted was at least something...but now knowing I'm stuck in this schedule for crap pay (OK, it wasn't crap at first, but now that I'm doing crap work, I need more money!)...I need/want a new job of some type...a new career, a new move...but I don't know what I want to do. I need something new, exciting, challenging...I have all this education and I'm not using it, but I also can't "start over" cause the pay wouldn't cover my mortgage. I feel stuck, and I always thought I would be in a career where I would be someone, go somewhere, do something...it kind of makes me sad and mad at how I feel I've messed up along the way.
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4 comments:
As someone who is still trying to become what/who she wants to be when she grows up, I can say that I do believe it's never too late. We have to "mess up" in order to learn what we want- so maybe it's not messing up after all.
You haven't messed up, you have done fine. We all evolve and change as we go forward so don't be so hard on yourself.
If you don't feel challenged and are unhappy then make the move. Plus they probably realize it also. Make the change on your terms before they do it on their terms.
It's too bad that we can't figure out what we want to do with our life earlier in our careers. I feel stuck in my position as well. Of course, that could be more fear of trying something new and failing than anything.
Is there any chance they would hear you if you explained your situation? If you think they might take it wrong and you need to continue to work there that might not be a good idea.
Change is always good. Explore your options and take it one day at a time.
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